


Mocha

by when_you_know_you_know



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-22 18:11:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 23,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15587766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/when_you_know_you_know/pseuds/when_you_know_you_know
Summary: Set during The Barden Years: In which Beca randomly kisses Chloe because Chloe jokingly told her to, the aftermath of which is complicated and confusing for both the young women, and for their unfortunate housemates..





	1. Beca - The Kiss

“How does it taste?” Beca asked curiously while her best friend sat beside her alone at the kitchen table. Chloe had just taken a bite of a new Mocha flavoured candy bar that Beca had managed to scout out on campus the afternoon before.

“Why don’t you kiss me and find out?” Chloe asked with a wicked grin, wiggling her eyebrows, but Beca just rolled her eyes.

“Chlo, come on, just let me have a bite.”

“I’m not sharing it with you!” Chloe replied stubbornly, moving the packet away from the brunette. “You know my terms.”

“I don’t want to  _share_  it with you, nerd. Just let me try a bit!” Beca said with a frown, smelling the candy bar on her best friend’s breath, but Chloe shook her head.

Suddenly Beca swooped forward and kissed Chloe firmly on the lips. A tingling sensation shot through both their bodies, causing light gasps to leave their mouths. The redhead brought her hands to Beca’s shoulders and pushed her away, and their kiss broke, both women looking at one another with stunned expressions.

“What did you do that for??” Chloe choked out while Beca leant back in her seat.

“You told me to kiss you!” Beca replied defensively but Chloe began to raise her voice, a mix of emotions taking over her body and expelling in a tone of annoyance.

“I didn’t actually expect you to  _do it_!”

“It’s not like it  _meant_  anything!”

“What do you mean, ‘didn’t mean anything’?? Beca  _you just kissed me_!!”

“I know!”

“You have a boyfriend!”

“ _I know!_ ”

The two best friends fell silent. They were breathing heavily, adrenaline racing around their bodies. They were both so confused and excited and upset and annoyed and curious - the feel of the kiss still echoing on their lips. Beca noticed the way tears were building in Chloe’s eyes and she feared the redhead would burst into tears. But before Beca could say anything more, before she could apologise, Chloe let out a light groan and pushed her chair back.

“Ugh I-I’ve gotta get out of here.” Chloe mumbled, shaking her head and shrugging while she stood up from the kitchen table.

“Chloeeeee..” Beca whined, trying to get the woman to stop, but the super-senior began walking away, “..Chloe, where are you going?”

“To clear my head!” The redhead called back without looking and Beca let out a heavy sigh as she heard her best friend storm out of the house, slamming the front door behind her.

Beca glanced over at the remainder of the candy bar that she no longer wanted to taste.  _Shit_. She’d really screwed things up now…


	2. Beca - The Armchair

Beca sat on the armchair of the lounge in The Bellas house. It wasn’t her usual position, particularly at this time of day. At 6pm on a Wednesday evening she was usually up in the attic bedroom she shared with Fat Amy, headphones over her ears, the only light coming from her laptop on her lap because she’d become too distracted with another mix to realise that it had turned dark outside.

Beca was sat on the armchair that faced the door to the hallway, her laptop on her lap and headphones over her ears. But she was keeping an eye out for Chloe. The redhead hadn’t been home since storming out of the house  _seven hours ago_. And Beca was definitely becoming more and more anxious as the time ticked on.

Her heart jumped into her mouth when she saw the front door open, but her shoulders slumped when she discovered that it was only Flo returning home from band practice (why the tiny Guatemalan had decided she’d wanted to learn to play the trombone she’d never know..). She kept her eyes on her friend while the young woman wandered over to Cynthia Rose’s bedroom door opposite the lounge door, Flo lightly knocking on it then opening it a small way and hanging around in the doorway. Beca couldn’t hear what she was chatting to CR about, but she didn’t care, too engrossed in listening to a song she was wanting to add to a playlist she was trying to create.

Her eyes quickly drew back down to her screen when she noticed Flo turn and begin to make her way along the hallway towards the lounge with CR close behind her. Beca wasn’t in the mood to talk. In fact, she wasn’t in any mood to do anything. She felt confused and embarrassed. Of all the people in her life, Beca had never imagined she would push Chloe away..

Beca felt one of her headphones being pulled from her ear and she jumped, swooping her hand to catch the earpiece and looking up to frown at the offender. But she met the curious looks of CR and Flo who had clearly chosen to stop by Beca on their way through to the kitchen. Beca paused her music.

“What’re you doing down here at this time of day?” CR asked in a confused tone. Beca’s stomach sank. Her friends clearly knew her routine far better than she’d ever realised.

“Yeah and in Chloe’s favourite seat.” Flo added and CR nodded in agreement.

Beca looked back down at her screen in an attempt to ignore them. It hadn’t occurred to her that she’d been sitting in Chloe’s favourite seat for the past three hours, ‘casually’ looking out for the redhead’s return. She wasn’t in the mood to talk, so she just let out a short sigh which was usually enough to let The Bellas know to leave her alone - it was only Chloe who would ignore the warning signs and Beca normally allowed her.

Flo and CR didn’t say anything more and moved away from the prickly brunette with their hands raised slightly in surrender. Beca picked up her phone and stared at the screen. No messages. She usually had one from Chloe by now asking Beca if she wanted her to make an extra portion of dinner in case she got hungry. Beca always said yes. She loved Chloe’s cooking. But there was nothing this evening.

Beca threw her phone down with a sigh and slipped her headphones back over her ears properly. There was no way she was going to text Chloe just yet. Beca wasn’t one for talking face to face much, but Beca  _did_  want to talk to Chloe about this face to face if they  _had_  to talk about it. She began playing the song again and let out a tired sigh.

She could still taste that Mocha candy from the kiss she’d given Chloe earlier. It haunted her.

Her attention was quickly drawn to the front door again and her hopes rose that it might be her best friend. But again she was disappointed to see that it was another Bella instead - this time Fat Amy. Beca looked back down at her screen miserably. She had no idea what she’d do once Chloe got home but she hoped it’d be soon.

Unbeknownst to Beca: CR and Flo now stood in the kitchen looking through into the lounge and specifically at their captain. They were suspicious. Beca had  _never_  sat there before. Beca had never looked that hopeful before when the front door had opened. Beca had never looked that disappointed.

“Do you think she’s had a fight with Jesse?” CR mumbled to her best friend, and Flo just shrugged, her brow still furrowed while they both watched Fat Amy stride past their brooding Captain - The Australian paying no attention to Beca as though the woman  _always_  sat there..


	3. Beca - The Boyfriend

“Beca! Hey! Wait up!”

Beca heard his voice, but she pretended like she couldn’t. Having Jesse walking with her to campus would be torture. That’s why she’d set off earlier than they usually did when they both had 9am classes on a Thursday morning. To try to walk there without him. Unfortunately (by the sounds of things) Jesse had popped to The Bellas house to find her, had presumably been told she’d already left, so had ran a long way to catch up with her.

She’d been a little distant over the past…twenty one hours. No texts and not answering calls. Ever since she’d… _kissed Chloe_. Beca just couldn’t face the fact that she would have to confess to her boyfriend that she’d kissed her best friend. She wasn’t sure if she’d class it as cheating per-say, but the fact that Beca herself had been the one to instigate it and that Chloe had immediately broken the kiss and had stormed off, definitely accounted for something.

Jesse caught up with Beca and let out a chuckle, nudging her with his elbow while he grinned at her and tried to catch his breath, “What-up, Buttercup?”

“What have I said about calling me that?” Beca asked rhetorically in a moody tone. She hated that greeting. She’d told her boyfriend that she hated it. And yet he  _still_  insisted on using it.

“Alright alright.” Jesse conceded in a light tone. He was used to his girlfriend’s deadpan tone, sarcasm, and frequent low mood. It didn’t make her a bad person. It made her a fun and challenging girl to be with.

Beca’s stomach had been in a tight knot since late yesterday morning. She hadn’t seen Chloe since the redhead had stormed out of the house. As far as Beca was aware the woman hadn’t been home yet, and she would’ve heard her if she had - because Beca hadn’t slept a wink last night. Her mind had been racing with memories of that kiss they’d shared and the events leading up to it and the argument they’d had immediately after. It had Beca feeling sick and confused all in one go. And to make matters worse,  _her boyfriend_  was right here, distracting her from her thoughts. Thoughts she needed to mull over..

“So why did you leave without me this morning?” Jesse asked, another chuckle falling from his mouth while he stuffed his hands in his pockets. But Beca kept her focus down on her feet.

“Just wanted to be alone.” she grumbled.

“Oh. Has something happened?” Jesse asked tentatively.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Jess.” Beca replied with a heavy sigh, continuing to stare down at her feet while they approached the campus boundaries.

They’d been together for over two years now. They knew how one another worked. Beca wasn’t overly keen on PDA and Jesse had learnt to feel that way too. They rarely held hands in public or in private. That wasn’t to say that Beca was unaffectionate. It was just that she was sparse when it came to dolling affection out. And Jesse knew when to back off. Knew when Beca was feeling low and didn’t want to chat or have any company - just her music and her thoughts.

So Jesse didn’t feel too let down when his girlfriend didn’t hold his hand or walk directly by his side as they began mingling with other college students making their way to their early morning classes. But he  _did_ notice something different about his girlfriend. And he couldn’t quite put his finger on what..


	4. Beca - The Rehearsal

Beca swiped through her phone and stared at the photo I.D. she had for Chloe, her eyes gazing at the bright smile on the woman’s face while she looks back at Beca from the phone. And the brunette’s heart actually ached. It had now been  _twenty five hours_  since Chloe had stormed out of The Bellas House. She’d not heard from her since and it was now 4pm on a Thursday afternoon. The usual time they met in the rehearsal space in Barden’s Performing Arts Centre, ready to lead The Bellas in a cardio session before learning a new set of choreography for a new song that Beca would have mixed. But Chloe wasn’t here. And Beca had no idea what to do without her.

Her heart jumped into her throat when she brought her phone to her ear, looking down at her feet and crossing her free arm over her waist - something she often did when she felt vulnerable. The ringing tone sounded and Beca’s mind began to race. What the hell was she going to say?? But she needn’t have worried. It went straight to voicemail.

Beca let out a heavy sigh, ending the call miserably, and stuffing the phone into the pocket at the back of her pants before bringing her hands briefly to her face. A light groan left her mouth. What the hell was she going to do?

“Um…everything okay there Cap?” 

Beca quickly dropped her hands to her sides and took a sharp intake of breath through her nose, clearing her throat and nodding. She’d totally forgotten that The Bellas were sat on seats in front of her. All were looking up at her with concerned expressions on their faces.

“Yeah…yeah everything’s fine. Just…got some stuff on my mind.” she turned her back on them and strode over to her satchel that was laid on a small table near them, letting out another sigh. She needed to get this session over and done with. Then maybe she could head over to the Campus Radio Station and just send whoever was doing the evening shift home. Evening shifts were cosy and peaceful and if Beca needed to cry then she could do so without the risk of anyone disturbing her. She didn’t feel like crying yet, but she couldn’t be sure that she would always feel this stable the longer Chloe ignored her.

“Do you…need to talk about it?” Jessica offered in a cautious tone from her seated position beside Ashley.

“No.” Beca replied quickly, still delving into her satchel for her notebook, ignoring her friends, “No I definitely  _don’t_  want to talk about it.”

“We’re great listeners?” Flo suggested kindly and the rest of The Bellas nodded in agreement, though Beca didn’t see, the woman too busy pulling out  _The Bellas Captains Notebook_  that Chloe had insisted they shared to keep their rehearsal notes in one place. The sight of the redhead’s handwriting brought emotion bubbling up into Beca’s head. She hadn’t realised how much she depended on Chloe for… _everything._

“Let’s just…get on with rehearsals, yeah?” Beca grumbled, tugging her iPod out of the satchel and plugging it into the portable speakers Chloe had bought the group last year specifically for rehearsals. The woman was everywhere.

“Where’s Chloe?” Stacie asked with a furrowed brow, and Beca turned to look at The Bellas. Her friends were all looking back at her - some confused, some curious, all wanting to know answers.

“I don’t actually know.” Beca confessed after a couple of beats, “Now can we just get set up for Cardio workout 3 please.”

“What do you mean  _you don’t know_?” Cynthia Rose asked suddenly, making Beca feel nervous.

“Yeah, you guys always know where the other is.”  Ashley added with a scrunched up nose, “That’s kinda your thing.”

The Bellas all nodded in agreement with Ashley, and Beca let out a heavy sigh, shrugging, “Well I guess for once I don’t know where sh-”

“-Did you guys have a fight?” Fat Amy interrupted, and Beca snapped her attention to The Australian. Fuck.  _Of course_  Amy would guess they’d had a fight. Except…Beca wasn’t sure that she and Chloe  _had_ had a fight per-say. It had been more of a panicked bunch of statements that had ended with Chloe running out of the house as quickly as possible. Chloe Beale of all people had been  _spooked_ by an affectionate act. Even though Beca didn’t classify the kiss as much of an affectionate thing…

“Uh..” Beca began, then shook her head slightly, adding in a low mumble, “No..not exactly..”

“What do you mean  _not exactly_?” Cynthia Rose asked, and Beca looked up to see her friends now looked a bit confused. This was the worst. There was no escaping this. She’d just have to tell them maybe?

Another sigh escaped Beca’s mouth, her shoulders slumping while she looked down at her feet, mumbling “I kissed her.” 

The brunette scrunched her face up as her friends all let out short gasps and light squeals. They’d mentioned at times over the couple of years since they’d all joined The Bellas that there appeared to be something between Beca and Chloe that was unlike anything the rest of them shared with their captains. A kiss between the two now confirmed for a lot of them that this had been the right thing to suspect. But Beca held her hands up to try to contain their excitement.

“It-It was an accident..and a mistake.”

The Bellas all stopped their excitement, going quiet and looking back at Beca in confusion. They were all speculating in their own minds what might have occurred to cause the two to eventually kiss. But from the looks of things even their wildest dreams were far more romantic than what had actually gone down.

“She ran off guys.” Beca said finally, a tone of defeat evident in her voice, “I’ve no idea where she went.”

“When did this happen??” Stacie asked suddenly, looking somewhat heartbroken, and Beca knew why. If Chloe of all people was to run off after a kiss then the situation between Beca and Chloe was likely more complicated than they all first thought.

“Yesterday morning. I don’t think she’s been home since.” Beca said in a sad voice, and to her disappointment The Bellas all shook their heads with concerned expressions. None of them had seen the redhead either.


	5. Beca - The Confession

As was the way in mid-October the light had begun disappearing from the sky come 7pm and Beca sat back in the old crooked chair at the Campus Radio Station, choosing as always to keep all the lights in the place off. The light from the old computer system was usually enough for her.

Beca furrowed her brow when she heard a tapping on the window and looked out of the booth and over to the glass door of the small building. She let out a small groan as she saw the dorky grin of her boyfriend who waved at her the moment their eyes locked. Jesse didn’t normally hunt her down when he knew she was doing a shift at the station. He knew it was her time to chill alone. But he motioned for her to let him in and the guilt that plagued her body following from the kiss she’d shared with Chloe yesterday was the only thing that pushed her out of the chair and booth, and through to the door to unlock it and let her boyfriend in.

“Hey, I didn’t think you were working tonight?” Jesse asked in a light, confused tone but Beca didn’t hang around, turning on the spot with an irritated sigh and wandering back through to the booth.

“Alison wanted me to swap shifts.” she lied, having sent Alison home earlier, insisting that she would do the evening shift no problem. Alison was of course thrilled. And Beca was relieved to be hanging in the one place that  _didn’t_  remind her of Chloe.

“Huh. Okay.” Jesse said with a shrug, having followed his girlfriend through to the booth. But he stood in the doorway watching her closely.

“Hey is everything okay?” He asked cautiously, knowing how prickly his girlfriend could get, particularly when she was busy.

“Uh..yeah? Why?” Beca asked, still not looking at the man while she took her seat again and began changing the order of the songs that were next up on the student radio.

“You just seem…different…”

“I thought you liked different?” Beca replied impatiently, referring back to the time before they were dating and Jesse had said that he liked girls who were different - namely Beca herself.

Jesse let out a light sigh, his patience wearing thin, “You know what I mean, Beca.” And he began making his way into the booth, shrugging his rucksack off his shoulder and letting it land on the ground while he moved over to lean against a bit of table close to his girlfriend, “Is it me? Have I done something?”

Beca bit her bottom lip, twirling her ring around her index finger nervously. This massive pang of guilt might go if she just told him. Maybe? And if she insisted it had been an accident or-or a mistake, maybe Jesse wouldn’t get mad? Maybe he’d even be sympathetic? He knew how flirty and confusing Chloe could be..

“I kissed Chloe.”

It had been the second time she’d said it in a matter of hours and it still sounded alien.  _She’d_  kissed Chloe. Chloe hadn’t kissed her.  _She’d_  made the move, not Chloe.  _They’d been sober_. And that was what made the realisation of what she’d impulsively done all the more horrifying.  _She’d cheated on Jesse_.

“What?”

Beca dragged her eyes up to her boyfriend who was looking at her as though he was a lost puppy that had been shoved over. He looked confused and perplexed and upset and bitterly sad - the tone to his little quiet “What?” adding to Beca’s huge guilt.

“I kissed Chloe.” Beca repeated, this time with a sigh, sitting back in her chair, her heart racing, “It didn’t mean anything, I swear!”

“ _Why_?”

“It’s…” Beca paused, scrunching her nose up and letting out a small wince, “it’s gonna sound stupid but…”

“Not stupid enough that you stopped yourself from kissing her though.” Jesse interrupted and Beca winced. She knew that tone he was using. It was his panicked tone. The tone he used whenever he got frustrated with and confused about his girlfriend. They had so many arguments where he sounded like this and Beca usually got more and more frustrated and defensive. This time however, he had a point.

“Look, I got her one of those new candy bars from the campus store - the mocha flavoured ones?” she hoped Jesse knew the ones she meant - she didn’t much fancy having to go into detail about them - but the man beside her just seemed to be looking more and more confused, “Anyway, she was eating it and I asked her how it tasted and you know how Chloe is, she joked that if I wanted to taste it I had to kiss her.  _Obviously_  I didn’t  _want_  to kiss her and I told her that but then she just kept refusing to let me try a bit and…iiiiiiin the end I kissed her.”

The booth fell silent while Jesse’s mouth hung open in shock. Beca’s final words echoed around in her head again and again. It sounded more ridiculous the more she said it. And to have to be saying it to her  _boyfriend_  made it all the more worse.

“How was it?” Jesse eventually asked in a bitter voice and Beca hesitated. She didn’t really get much of a taste of it if she was being honest.

“Um..well..you know, it tasted kinda like coffee I guess but I didn’t really get much of a taste from Chloe’s lips so there must’ve been more choc-“

“ _I meant the kiss_.” Jesse said in a frustrated tone, his volume rising a little higher. “How was the kiss with Chloe?”

Beca had no idea what to say. She’d only thought about it a little bit over the past day or so but not enough to be able to describe it.

“It was…different.”

“ _Different_?” Jesse replied, his brow furrowing and Beca could tell he was close to walking out.

“Yeah, you know, like…um…well how it would probably be if you were to kiss Benji!” Beca tried to provide a close enough example but she’d clearly failed.

“Beca I wouldn’t  _dream_  of kissing Benji, no matter how curious I was about the candy bar he was eating!” Jesse stood from the table and strode over to his rucksack, “For one thing I’m not gay, but for another thing - and the most important part about it all - I wouldn’t kiss my best friend because  _I have a girlfriend_!!”

Beca swallowed loudly as Jesse yelled the final few words of his sentence at her. He was right of course.  _Why_  had she done it??

“I’m taken, Beca!  _You’re_  taken! And I thought we were doing okay!”

“We  _are_!” Beca tried to fight back, but even she could see that this was a losing battle.  _She’d kissed Chloe_. There was no going back from that.

“No we’re not.” Jesse said in a disappointed voice, and he turned on the spot and stormed out of the building. Beca turned back to the computer screen, lost for words..


	6. Beca - The Cigarette

Midnight and Beca was sat alone on the roof of The Bellas house. She’d got home from the station an hour ago and had immediately strode up the staircase, passing Chloe’s bedroom to check if she was back. But the redhead hadn’t been, something that was confirmed by Flo who stuck her head out of her own bedroom door calling out a firm “She’s not come home, Beca.” So Beca had made her way up to her favourite chill-out zone in the house - the roof. There she was able to clear her head..or at least  _try_.

The brunette rolled the lit cigarette lightly between her index finger and thumb, flicking a bit of the hot ash from the end then bringing it up to her lips and taking a deep intake of the nicotine she craved. It was a filthy habit and she hated it. But Chloe wasn’t here to tell her off…

“What time did you get home?”

Beca jumped, blowing out the smoke, then looking over her shoulder. She watched as Stacie clambered through the attic window of Beca and Fat Amy’s bedroom, a kind smile on her face and Beca shrugged, “‘bout an hour ago.”

Stacie took a seat on the roof beside Beca and held her hand out. The smaller woman took a quick drag of her cigarette and passed it over to Stacie. The leggy Bella took the little stick and took a drag of her own, blowing out the smoke. The two friends looked out at the dark lake that lay across the street in front of their house. They would do this from time to time - escape up onto the roof to smoke - but only if one of them was having a really bad day.

“So I told Jesse about the kiss.” Beca admitted quietly, taking back the cigarette that Stacie had taken another drag of.

“Yikes.” Stacie exhaled, smoke billowing from her mouth, “How did that go?”

“Not so good..” Beca mumbled, and a light chuckle fell from Stacie’s mouth.

“Well it was a pretty stupid thing to do.”

Beca blew some smoke from her mouth and looked down at the cigarette in her hand, flicking the beginning of it with her thumb, “Don’t I know it.” she replied in a disappointed tone.

“Do you like her?” Stacie asked curiously, her eyes on her Captain. The Bellas had teased both Beca and Chloe plenty over the past couple of years about how they’d make a good couple and Stacie always joined in. But Stacie was also tactful, and right now she knew that Beca just needed a friend who would listen and ask the right questions.

Beca shrugged, taking another pull from the cigarette between her fingers then offering it back to her friend, “I mean she’s one of my best friends. She gets me more than I do myself sometimes. And I guess…I  _do_ find her attractive?” Beca wasn’t overly sure what she was saying anymore. She was tired, she hadn’t really slept in two days, and her anxiety had been taking over her mind recently.

“Well it’s normal to find other people attractive.” Stacie said, looking back out at the lake, taking another drag of the cigarette and blowing out the smoke, “I mean, I would agree with you that Chloe’s attractive.  _You’re_  attractive. Jesse’s attractive. Hell, even  _Benji’s_  attractive in his own sweet way!”

Beca scrunched her nose up for a moment. She couldn’t see how Benji was attractive. But then that was probably Stacie’s point..

“And sure I’d kiss any of you guys in a heartbeat! But that doesn’t mean I will.” Stacie said seriously, handing back the cigarette, and Beca took it. “There must be something deeper there that drove you to do it, Beca. And don’t give me that ‘wanting to try the candy bar’ crap - you and I both know that was just a convenient excuse.”

Beca furrowed her brow, then heard her phone chime. She pulled it from her pocket, handing the remainder of her cigarette to Stacie, then her heart skipped a beat. The message was from Jesse:

_I’ve been thinking about what you said. I’m upset (as you can probably tell) but I forgive you. Walk with me to class in the morning? J x_

“That Chloe?” Stacie asked in a hopeful tone but Beca shook her head gently.

“No it’s Jesse.”

“And…?”

“He’s forgiven me.” Beca said with a light sigh, unable to believe how lucky she was. She couldn’t be sure she’d be able to forgive him if  _he’d_ kissed Chloe. She replied with a simple:

_Okay. Thanks Jes. B x_

“Wow..” Stacie said, exhaling some more smoke then handing the cigarette back to her Captain, “What a guy.” she mused and Beca nodded gently, putting her phone back in her pocket and taking what was likely to be one of the final drags of the cigarette. But just as she pulled it from between her lips and took an intake of breath, the window behind them flung open.

Flo, Jessica, and Ashley threw themselves out of the window with panicked looked on their faces, startling Beca and Stacie. All three had something in their hand and Beca let out a small yelp when Ashley dragged Beca to her feet. Lilly appeared from nowhere, snatching the cigarette from Beca’s hand, stamping it out.

“Wha-?”

“ _Chloe’s just got home!!_ ” Jessica whispered in a harsh tone, the whites of her eyes showing as she began tugging Beca’s jacket from her shoulders and throwing it to the ground.

“She…she has?” Beca asked as Jessica chucked a new jacket over her, one that smelled far nicer.

“Yes!” Flo replied.

“Where has she bee-“ Beca began but paused and choked as Flo frantically squirted a tonne of ‘Fresh Mint’ mouth spray in her mouth.

“Dunno!” Ashley added, busy spraying plenty of perfume in Beca’s hair and over her clothes, “Amy and CR are distracting her and Aubrey downstairs while we ran up here to freshen you up!”

“Aubrey’s here??” Stacie asked with a frown, having risen to her feet while Beca had her quick make-over. She let out a light yelp as Lilly grabbed her hand and tugged her back into the house through the window. Beca could do nothing but watch on as Jessica, Ashley, and Flo took one last look at her appearance, then nodded.

“We’ll send Chloe up to you.” Flo said in a kind voice, backing into the bedroom behind her while Ashley finally sprayed perfume around them and in the window space of the bedroom.

“Good luck Becs!” Jessica whispered, and closed the window behind them.

Beca took a deep shaky breath. Fuck…


	7. Beca - The Questioning

Beca wasn’t entirely sure how long she’d been pacing for. In fact she hadn’t even realised she’d been pacing until she stopped suddenly at the sound of a footstep slowly creaking on the bottom step of the attic stairs. All The Bellas knew to avoid that step - so whoever stood on it was  _wanting_  Beca to know they were there.

The brunette looked over at the top of the stairs, holding her breath while the visitor slowly walked up the stairs, her heart racing she was so nervous. But her shoulders slumped when she saw blonde hair that quickly turned out to be Aubrey’s. They hadn’t got on so well in Beca’s freshman year but by the time Aubrey had graduated and had handed over the reins of Captaincy to Beca, they’d both conceded that the other was ‘alright’. The blonde had seemed to tame over the year and a half since she’d graduated but Beca was still wary.

“Calm your pits, Beca. It’s only me.” Aubrey mumbled in a tired voice. She already sounded impatient and Beca began to build her guard up. Aubrey stood at the top of the stairs, her arms folded. Beca couldn’t work out if the woman was mad or just disappointed, but it certainly didn’t make her feel better.

“So..” Aubrey sighed, “want to tell me what’s going on?”

Beca hesitated and furrowed her brow. If Chloe had been with Aubrey the past couple of days - which she suspected she had - then surely Aubrey already knew what was going on. She and Chloe had had a…fight? Then Chloe had stormed out of the house and not spoken to Beca since. Bam.  _That_  was what was going on.

“I kissed Chloe.” Beca blurted for what felt like the millionth time that day. It still didn’t get any easier to say. Especially when the person listening let out a tut and rolled their eyes like Aubrey just did now.

“Yeah I know that, goofball. I meant  _why_??”

“Why?”

“Yeah why did you do it? Why did I end up with Chloe stood in my porch yesterday afternoon?

The room fell silent as Beca swallowed nervously. She didn’t normally get quiet like this when she was having a heated conversation with Aubrey. Normally she’d fight back. But Beca  _knew_  she was in the wrong here. That was why she was struggling to respond for once.

It hadn’t passed Aubrey by that Beca was quieter than usual. She often thrived on irritating the petite brunette, to try to pay her back for all the difficulties Beca caused her back in her senior year while she’d been in charge of The Bellas. But the blonde was surprised to see Beca looking somewhat  _vulnerable_  while she stood before her, the younger woman a little lost for words.

“I got Chloe this candy bar…a mocha flavoured one-“ Beca began in a mumbled tone but Aubrey quickly interrupted her.

“-I  _know_  about the candy bar, Beca!” Aubrey said in a frustrated tone, letting out another sigh, “I know the lead up to the kiss, I know you kissed Chloe, I know you guys had a little bicker about it, I know Chloe ran off. All I now want to know is  _why you kissed Chloe in the first place_.”

“I don’t know, okay?” Beca snapped back, her blood gently simmering away. She didn’t know how Aubrey managed it, but she  _always_  got under Beca’s skin. Got her to the right level of annoyed for her to burst. “It-It was an impulsive action! Something in me had just had enough of her always goading me to kiss her that eventually I did!”

“To shut her up?”

“Yeah!”

“Ugh  _Beca_!!” Aubrey groaned, rolling her eyes, her arms flinging down to her sides while her fists balled in frustration, “You’ve known Chloe for over two years now, you  _know_  it’s in her nature to flirt!”

“I  _know_ , dude!”

“So if you knew that then why didn’t you just walk away? You know Chloe doesn’t  _go after_  the person she’s flirting with to keep teasing them! She just stays where she is and giggles!”

Hearing the word ‘giggles’ said in such an angry tone was odd. It was a light and fun word that was never meant for the tone that Aubrey had said it in. But neither of the women in that attic bedroom had noticed. Aubrey hadn’t noticed because she was too frustrated with the situation, and Beca hadn’t noticed because she realised Aubrey was right. She  _could_  have just walked away. But she hadn’t.  _Why_??

“Look, I don’t know what drove you to do it, Beca.” Aubrey said in a calmer voice, cutting the silence, “But if you don’t know either? Well then I definitely can’t help you. None of us Bellas can. Not even Chloe.”

Beca took a deep shaky breath. She wasn’t looking for any help, so that was one less thing she had to concern herself with. But she  _was_  still looking for the answers as to why she’d kissed Chloe in the first place. After all, it was like Aubrey had just said, Chloe  _was_  flirty, but she never went out of her way to further pursue the person she was flirting with. Beca could have walked away but hadn’t. Something was there, deep down in Beca’s soul, that had driven her to kiss Chloe.

“I’ll go and get her.” Aubrey said in a kind voice, having watched Beca’s facial expressions change over the past several seconds, as though her words had helped Beca’s thought process. And she hoped it had. She wanted Chloe to be happy..


	8. Beca - The Apology

Beca was rooted to the spot, tugging at the hem of the jacket Jessica had thrown over her body a little earlier to try to cover up the smell of cigarette smoke that The Bellas all knew Chloe hated. Their hope, presumably, was to make Chloe  _less_  annoyed with Beca than she already was. Less upset. Unfortunately the last time Beca had seen her friend had been yesterday morning, watching the super-senior storm out of the house. And Chloe had seemed surprisingly upset..

“Hey.”

Beca blinked several times as she matched the quiet voice up with the redhead who hovered nervously at the top of the stairs. She’d spent hours and hours asking herself  _why_  she’d kissed Chloe. Her friends had asked her.  _Her boyfriend_  had asked her. And yet, seeing Chloe in front of her now gave her no more clearer an answer than earlier.

Yes she was very good friends with Chloe. And yes, she  _did_  find her attractive. But it was like Stacie had said earlier - it was okay to find someone attractive and not kiss them. Kissing that person only meant that there was something more, deep down, that was being ignored. And Beca had no idea what that ‘something more’ was. Nor did she know how to ‘unignore’ it (so to speak).

“Hey.” Beca croaked back. She noticed how Chloe was dressed in different clothes to the ones she wore yesterday, and she assumed they were Aubrey’s. That was where she’d been overnight.

“Listen, I’m sorry I ran off.” Chloe said, taking a few strides towards Beca and standing closer to her. Beca saw how Chloe was twirling the ring around her thumb. She knew that was what the redhead did when she was feeling anxious about something, and she hated that she’d caused that anxiety.

“And I’m sorry I kissed you.” Beca immediately apologised, having been desperate to say it to her friend since Chloe broke their kiss yesterday morning. She noticed a flicker of something in Chloe’s eyes but she couldn’t work out what. “I shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t fair. Not on you, or me, or…Jesse.”

It was difficult saying his name now. For some reason Beca felt as though…as though she was cheating on  _Chloe_  by mentioning Jesse. Which was ridiculous because Chloe wasn’t her girlfriend. Jesse was her boyfriend. Beca was well within her rights to mention him to the girl she’d sporadically kissed yesterday.

“I told him about the kiss.” Beca mumbled, feeling the heat rising to her cheeks while she looked down at her feet. Why was she feeling embarrassed about this? It was only Chloe! “He was mad with me - understandably. But he texted me a little while ago to say that he’s forgiven me…so…”

“Oh.” Chloe said in a quiet voice, and Beca looked back up into Chloe’s eyes. They didn’t dance like they used to. Beca missed the way Chloe’s eyes would dance…

“That’s good. Right?”

“Yeah.” Beca nodded with a forced pursed-lipped smile, “Yeah. We’re all good. Me and Jesse - all good.”

The room fell silent as the two friends stood before one another. Beca’s stomach had flipped and she was still feeling nervous. Usually she was used to feeling awkward, but this tension was super awkward, even for her.

“What about us?” Chloe asked, breaking the silence, and Beca took a deep shaky breath as Chloe added, “A-Are we gonna be okay?”

“Yeah dude.” Beca replied with an unusual surge of confidence, bringing her fist up and thumping Chloe playfully on the arm. She quickly brought her fist back, having no idea why she’d just done that. “Yeah - uh - look it was just a quick peck, right? No feelings or anything. I mean I like you. Not like… _like you_  like you but…well you’re really important to me. And yeah, I did something really dumb that probably ruined some of our friendship but…I…”

Beca paused, swallowing loudly. She wasn’t good with sentimental stuff. She’d casually mentioned in passing that she loved The Bellas in a fond “I love you awesome nerds” kinda way. But she’d never said anything affectionate on a one-to-one basis with any of them before.

“…I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it, Beale. You’re the sunshine to my rain cloud. The jelly to my peanut butter. The shake to my milk. The sprinkles on my sundae-“

“-You don’t like sundaes..” Chloe interrupted with a light frown, causing Beca to roll her eyes.

“I know but…you get what I mean, right?”

A small smile grew on Chloe’s face and Beca felt a huge wave of relief, “I get what you mean.”

The brunette let out a long heavy exhale and a small smile of her own wiped over her face, “So we’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Chloe agreed affectionately, “We’re okay.”

“Cool so…I guess…I’ll go down and make us all hot cocoa as an added apology?” Beca began hesitantly, and she saw Chloe’s expression change into a look of amusement.

“Why do you need to apologise to The Bellas?”

“I kinda gave them a really bad rehearsal yesterday because I was worrying too much about you.” Beca explained, shrugging her jacket off and throwing it on her ‘office chair’ that sat in front of her desk, “And then I told them you were missing and they worried too and…” Beca paused while she let out a sigh, turning to look at Chloe and her heart skipped a beat for a moment, “…we just really missed you.”

“We?” Chloe probed, an amused smile still on her face as she wandered towards the stairs that would lead them out of the attic bedroom.

“I already threw you a bunch of compliments, Chlo. Don’t push it. You know how I feel.”

But as Chloe let out a light giggle while leading Beca down the stairs, the brunette felt her stomach jumble. Because in reality even  _Beca_  didn’t know how she truly felt about Chloe - so there was no way that Chloe could possibly know either…


	9. Chloe - The Kiss

Okay so the candy bar that Beca had bought Chloe was out of this world. Chloe  _loved_  coffee flavoured things. And chocolate flavoured things. And she couldn’t  _believe_  that Beca had not only found a Mocha candy bar at the campus store yesterday but had forgotten to tell her about it before now.

The redhead now sat at the kitchen table of The Bellas house, a content smile on her face as she took another bite of the candy bar and let out a blissful hum while her eyes fluttered closed. “How does it taste?” She heard her best friend ask curiously and Chloe opened her eyes, giving Beca a wicked grin.

“Why don’t you kiss me and find out?”

It was her favourite line to use whenever she was out at a party drinking heavily and whichever dude she was dancing with would ask her about the cocktail she usually had in her hand. It always went down well and she ended up fulfilling all her make-out needs with just eight simple words. Her heart skipped a beat when she noticed Beca rolling her eyes, and it drew Chloe’s temptation to tease the brunette - like a moth drawn to a flame.

“Chlo, come on, just let me have a bite.”

“I’m not sharing it with you!” Chloe replied, revelling in how easy it was to tease her co-captain, moving the packet from her friend, “You know my terms.”

“I don’t want to  _share_  it with you, nerd. Just let me try a bit!”

But Chloe just tried to keep her grin at bay while she shook her head. Obviously she was going to break off a piece and give it to Beca eventually. But she’d probably wait until the inevitable moment when Beca would quickly stand up from this table in a strop and begin to leave the kitchen only for Chloe to reach out and grab her arm, laughing while holding out the candy bar so Beca could try some.

To Chloe’s surprise, however, she watched as Beca dove her face towards her and encapsulated her lips with her own - kissing her hard. Chloe let out a gasp, somehow, tears immediately springing to her eyes. Then before she knew what she was doing, she’d brought her hands to Beca’s shoulders and was pushing her best friend away from her, their kiss breaking.

“What did you do that for??” Chloe choked out, looking back at Beca who fortunately looked as stunned as she felt.

“You told me to kiss you!”

Chloe hated how defensive Beca sounded.  _Why_  was she acting defensive?? Beca had been the one to instigate it! Chloe had teased her, sure, but this quick kiss meant far more than just a quick friendly peck on the lips. At least to Chloe it did..

“I didn’t actually expect you to  _do it_!”

“It’s not like it  _meant_  anything!”

“What do you mean, ‘didn’t mean anything’?? Beca  _you just kissed me_!!”

“I know!”

“You have a boyfriend!”

“ _I know_!”

The kitchen fell silent and Chloe stared back at Beca in shock. This wasn’t how Chloe had  _ever_  expected her first kiss with Beca to feel like. It had been soft and had sent a tingling wave of emotion through Chloe’s body that made her feel like it complimented the deep feelings she’d been secretly harbouring for the younger woman over the past couple of years, yes. But it had been snappy and far too firm..far too brief..far too uncoordinated..and Chloe was  _heartbroken_.

The redhead let out a light groan and pushed her chair back, tearing her eyes from the woman beside her, “Ugh I-I’ve gotta get out of here.” She mumbled, hating the way Beca was looking at her with wide eyes still. Hating that her best friend didn’t appear to care about how much that kiss meant to her.  _What_  it meant to her.

“Chloeeeee..” she heard Beca whining after her, but it only served to push the tears closer to the edge of Chloe’s eyes while she made her way quickly out of the kitchen. She had to leave. To think. To… _cry_. “Where are you going?”

Chloe left the lounge, calling back over her shoulder “To clear my head!” before grabbing her handbag by the door that she knew had her wallet and headphones in, and slammed out of the house.

The second she heard the door rattle behind her, Chloe burst into tears, walking as fast as her legs could carry her. Away from the house. Away from Beca. But she couldn’t run away from the memory of how the woman’s lips had felt on hers. She was screwed..


	10. Chloe - The Lyrics

****

Chloe’s eyes ached. She had no more tears left to cry and instead sat in a zombie-like state, completely frozen to the spot. Her head leant on the window of the bus. Her eyes watching the passing traffic and buildings but not really seeing them.

And she was listening to a song.  _The_  song. The one and only song that so perfectly epitomised the utter torture that was being in unrequited love with Beca Mitchell. Beca Mitchell who had  _kissed_  her little more than two hours ago and had quickly told Chloe that it ‘ _meant nothing_ ’.

She skipped the track back to the beginning again and let out a heavy sigh, adjusting the position of her headphones. ‘ **[Too Lost In You](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F4xoUQTqCPbgorjbzr7empX%3Fsi%3DO_usfVQBSD-hGHbk4LTTdg&t=N2RhY2Y4Zjk1NDg5ZWVjYjdlNThhNDk3NmU5M2Y4Nzg3NDc2YmQ5OSxOa014TlVyNA%3D%3D&b=t%3AGxhuq-ZZP1NhGMU0I8Ne1A&p=https%3A%2F%2Fasweetmelodytrickling.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176551555518%2Fi-need-part-9-oh-my-god&m=1)** ’ was a song Chloe had listened to a lot when she couldn’t sleep overnight because her mind was full of how crazy she was about the woman she considered one of her best friends. She didn’t know when the crush had started or what had triggered it. Nor did she know how to stop it. Nor did she  _want_  to stop it. At least..she didn’t  _think_  she wanted to..

_“Well you whisper to me,  
 _And I shiver inside.  
 _You undo me and move me in ways undefined.  
 _And you’re all I see.  
 _And you’re all I need.  
 _Help me, baby.”______

Chloe squeezed her eyes shut at the lyrics sung in the song, her heart aching. Yearning. Desperately wishing Beca knew how she felt.  _Beca kissed her_. That had to account for something, right?

Her phone chimed and her stomach churned. It was from  _Jesse_.

_Riff-Off next Wednesday evening for the freshmen? I’ve texted Beca but know you’re the true organiser of The Bellas ;) Jes_

God, the man had no idea  _his girlfriend_  had kissed her earlier today. And he also had no idea that the song Chloe was currently listening to she listened to with nobody in mind but his girlfriend. He had no idea Chloe was secretly completely head over heels in love with his girlfriend. And he could  _never_  know.

_Sounds good! No newbies for us this year but I’ll tell the girls anyway. Chlo_

Chloe let out a heavy sigh, looking at the texts she and Beca had sent each other recently. She doubted things would ever be the same again between them now. And the most heartbreaking thing about it was it had been  _Beca_  who had ruined things.  _Beca had kissed her_!!

She clicked her playlist to the other track from the ‘Love Actually Soundtrack’ that she played to death. As the intro to ‘ **[I’ll See It Through](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F6FXyzXy9P5Lp6kF2qh43Gp%3Fsi%3DEAsL6O47QtSZh06-Mix8JQ&t=MTk4OGE2OTkxYTkyZDYxMDJlYjVmMTE2ZDM5OWUwZDgwMjQ1NmE3NixOa014TlVyNA%3D%3D&b=t%3AGxhuq-ZZP1NhGMU0I8Ne1A&p=https%3A%2F%2Fasweetmelodytrickling.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176551555518%2Fi-need-part-9-oh-my-god&m=1)** ’ began to play Chloe let out another heavy sigh. Her chest still felt tight. The memory of Beca’s lips on hers still remained a shadow over her mouth. And the redhead gently drifted her eyes closed again.

“ _You’re all I ever wanted  
 _You’re all I ever needed, it’s you  
 _You’re all I’ve ever wanted  
 _And loving you’s the right thing to do  
 _And I’ll see it through___ ”__

Being in unrequited love was the worst. But having that person you’ve craved for so long kiss you out of the blue then tell you it had essentially been a mistake? The absolute  _worst_.

Still, perhaps Aubrey would be able to provide some sort of clarity..


	11. Chloe - The Hug

“Chloe??”

The redhead snapped her head up from her phone where she’d been scrolling through Beca’s Instagram account - then her own - then back to Beca’s again. The voice she heard was one that she’d so desperately needed to hear since storming out of The Bellas house four hours ago. The bus had been a long journey, but she had finally made it to the front porch of the house Aubrey rented with a few other young post-graduates. The second she caught sight of her oldest friend, Chloe let out a huge sigh of relief she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding.

“What are you doing here?” Aubrey asked, a broad smile on her face - delighted to see her best friend despite the spontaneity of the visit. But as she stepped up onto the porch, pulling her house keys out of her handbag, she realised that all wasn’t well with Chloe. The redhead had blood-shot eyes and a puffy face. No make-up remained and Aubrey knew that meant that her best friend had been crying.

She didn’t wait for Chloe to say anything, she just threw her arms around Chloe’s body, and allowed the woman to bawl into her neck. This was all bound to be about a boy. It always had been, back when they’d attended college together.

Chloe tightened her grip around her best friend’s waist and miraculously cried tears she swore she no longer had. Her body relaxed within Aubrey’s embrace and that’s when Chloe knew - everything was somehow going to be okay in the end.

“What’s going on, babe?” The blonde asked while gently rocking her best friend from side to side and Chloe hesitated. All that she was about to tell Aubrey was going to shake the woman right up. Aubrey didn’t know about the super secret love that Chloe held for Beca. She didn’t know that she’d been pining over Beca since the early days of knowing the brunette. Chloe had kept it a secret from  _everyone_. Aubrey didn’t know what had happened between Beca and Chloe a few hours ago either..

“Beca kissed me.” Chloe announced, the words feeling strange as they left her mouth. She almost didn’t believe it herself, but she remembered it. She remembered how it had felt to have Beca’s lips on hers.

Chloe felt Aubrey stiffen her body a little then slowly peel her arms from around the redhead. The expression on Aubrey’s face was that of confusion as she looked down at the slightly shorter woman while Chloe blinked up at her. Chloe bit her bottom lip, running her tongue along the tears that had been held there.

“Wh-…what do you mean she  _kissed you_?” Aubrey asked cautiously, her brow furrowed, and Chloe let out a shaky sigh, shrugging gently.

“She just…kissed me.” was all Chloe whispered, and after a quiet pause Aubrey took a sharp deep intake of breath through her nose.

“Come on,” the blonde said, linking her best friend’s arm with hers, “this calls for Pumpkin Spiced Latte’s.” and Chloe obediently allowed Aubrey to lead her to her car, ready to drive them to the nearest Starbucks for a coffee and a  _huge_  catch-up..


	12. Chloe - The Coffee

Chloe swirled the ring around her thumb, tapping her foot nervously while she looked at her phone which lay dormant on the table before her. Aubrey was up at the counter ordering their lattes. The Starbucks they were in was a hive of activity - but Chloe heard none of it. She was too busy anxiously awaiting the inevitable moment she was going to have to tell her closest most bestest friend that she was secretly in love with a young woman Aubrey didn’t overly like. Beca.

“Right..” Aubrey said with a sigh, placing a Pumpkin Spiced Latte in front of Chloe, snapping the redhead out of her trance before placing her own Pumpkin Spiced Latte on the table in front of the chair she was about to take. The blonde shrugged her seasonal coat from her body and hung it on the back of her chair before taking a seat opposite Chloe. “So, start from the beginning. Why the  _hell_  did Beca Mitchell  _kiss_  you??”

Chloe chewed her bottom lip for a moment, looking up at her best friend with her bright blue eyes. Aubrey had her brow furrowed while she continued to look confused. The problem was, other than explaining that she was all but daring Beca to do it, Chloe had  _no idea_  why Beca kissed her!

“She got me this candy bar..” Chloe began, pausing to reach out and grab her coffee cup. She needed something to hold and stare at other that Aubrey’s confused expression.

“Not the most conventional of pick-up lines..” Aubrey added in an unimpressed tone, but Chloe let out a tut to tell her friend that now wasn’t the time for snarky comments, and Aubrey simply rose her eyebrows to let Chloe know she wouldn’t interrupt any more.

“And she wanted to try some while I was eating it so I joked that if she wanted to try it so badly she should just kiss me.” Chloe glanced up from her coffee cup that she was busy scoring patterns into with her fingernail. Aubrey was back to looking confused again and she could tell the blonde wanted to say something. But fortunately, true to her unspoken word, Aubrey kept quiet and Chloe continued. “I didn’t actually think she’d do it!”

The redhead sat back in her seat with a heavy sigh, bringing her hands to her face and letting out a small groan before flinging her hands down into her lap, looking back down at the coffee cup, “Anyway, I obviously freaked out and she said it didn’t mean anything which made me freak out even more and…I just left.”

“Left?” Aubrey asked quietly.

“The house. We were in the kitchen. I couldn’t stay there so…I left. Came straight here.”

The two women fell silent, lost in their thoughts and the short story that Chloe had just told. Chloe blew the steam from the top of her latte, still thinking back to that moment earlier in the day when Beca had kissed her.  _Why_? Why had Beca kissed her?

“So let me get this straight.” Aubrey began tentatively, assuming that the story was now over and she was free to contribute again, “Beca Mitchell.  _Unaffectionate-wouldn’t be caught dead sat directly next to another person let alone touching them_  Beca Mitchell…kissed you?”

“Yeah.” Chloe croaked out, Aubrey’s observation not exactly helping the knot in her stomach.

“The girl who I couldn’t even imagine kissing her own boyfriend..”

“They’ve kissed.” Chloe quickly replied, not meaning to grimace quite as much as she did when she said it, “I’ve seen Beca and Jesse kiss plenty of times.” It was true. Almost always at a party. And it  _always_  made Chloe feel sick. Made her fall harder for Beca. And made her tumble deeper into that dark hole of misery that being in love with the petite brunette caused. Chloe was too clogged up in her own thoughts while trying to sip her coffee to notice the way Aubrey was watching her closely. She saw the grimace and it stunned her somewhat.

“Chloe, you said her kissing you freaked you out.” Chloe hesitated as Aubrey sat a little further forward in her seat and leant towards her, “You said that her telling you it didn’t mean anything freaked you out even more… _why_?”

Chloe’s eyes flickered up to her best friend and she knew that now was the time. It was now or never. Aubrey was providing her with the perfect opportunity.

“Because I’m in love with Beca.”

It was the first time Chloe had said it out-loud. The first time she’d ever said it to another person before. And the weird thing was…it felt  _right_. Like as natural as breathing or singing to a favourite song. For Chloe, being in love with Beca was the most natural thing in the world. And this was like an epiphany moment for her. At least it had been. Until she saw the way Aubrey sat back in her chair with a little groan. Chloe felt her heart racing and she began to panic.

“So, you see  _why_  I freaked out so much. Because Beca kissed me for the first time. Something that I’ve been dying for her to do for years-“

“ _Years_??” Aubrey shrieked a little louder than she probably had expected to, her eyebrows raising, and Chloe rolled her eyes a little helplessly.

“Yeah..since I first heard her sing, Aubrey.”

“I mean, her audition was good Chloe, but it didn’t  _turn_  me!” Aubrey replied in a baffled manner, and that was when Chloe held her breath for a moment. Ah, yeah…Aubrey didn’t know about Chloe first accosting Beca in the campus showers to get her to come to auditions… Chloe saw the expression on her best friend’s face and couldn’t bring herself to tell her about it, so the redhead just let out a small sigh.

“She chose Jesse.” Chloe said in a quiet vulnerable voice, “She’ll always choose Jesse.”

“And yet she kissed you..” Aubrey replied in a soft voice, shaking her head slightly, as though mumbling it to herself rather than adding to the conversation. And Chloe’s racing heart calmed.

The hard part was over. She’d finally told Aubrey her deepest secret and the blonde was already beginning to come to terms with it. But the question still remained, and it now laid with both Chloe and Aubrey:

Beca had kissed Chloe. But  _why_?


	13. Chloe - The Decision

Chloe stared at her phone, holding her breath as it rang loudly on the coffee table in the lounge of Aubrey’s house. She was tired. She’d barely slept all night. She’d gone over and over and  _over_  all that had happened the day before: The kiss. Running from Barden. Crying. Getting to Aubrey’s. Telling her about her feelings for Beca. Eating far too much pizza and ice cream. Drinking a lot of wine. Crying some more. Staring at Aubrey’s bedroom ceiling all night while her best friend slept soundly. Flipping through Beca’s social media accounts to see what she might be doing. Flipping through  _Jesse’s_  social media accounts to see if Beca was with him. But nothing…

Chloe was exhausted. She’d fortunately had a shower and Aubrey had kindly given her a change of fresh clothes. But she didn’t feel fresh in herself. Her mind still felt foggy and her heart still felt heavy. A heart that was currently racing at the sight of Beca’s name flashing up on her phone screen - a sign that the woman was calling her. It was 4pm. Bellas rehearsal time. Beca was probably wanting to find out what to do with the rest of the girls.

The call ended and Chloe let out a heavy sigh of relief. She had no idea what she would’ve done had she heard Beca’s voice. She’d probably burst into tears or yell at her or panic or tell her that she was in love with her. No matter what, if she’d have answered that call, she would’ve ruined their friendship even more.

“Was that Beca?” Aubrey asked from her position across the room, busy pouring them both a cup of herbal tea in the open-plan kitchen.

“Uh, yeah.” Chloe replied quietly, still looking down at the screen, her knees tucked into her chest on the couch. After a minute of silence, her shoulders slumped in disappointment. No voicemail message left. No text message either. Clearly Beca wasn’t that desperate to talk to her after all.

“You need to go and talk to her Chloe.” Aubrey said in a kind, calm voice, walking into the lounge and taking a seat beside the redhead on the couch. Chloe took the tea cup held out to her then waited for Aubrey to settle before drawing her legs up onto the other woman’s lap.

“Yeah but what do I say? ‘ _Sorry I ran out after you kissed me but I’m kinda in love with you and your kiss wasn’t as beautiful as I imagined our first kiss to be_ ’??” Chloe asked in a harrowed tone, her eyebrows high with worry on her pale face.

“Well no, obviously not.” Aubrey replied, resisting the urge to roll her eyes and tut. She’d known Chloe for six years. They’d been best friends for around that long too. And she’d  _never_  seen Chloe in this much of a state over anyone before now. How had she not noticed that Chloe had a crush on  _Beca_? If she had then maybe she would’ve been able to help Chloe through it a little sooner without the redhead getting to this late stage - now the woman was  _in love_  with the prickly little alt girl. Aubrey was out of her depth. But she hoped that by encouraging Chloe to talk it over with Beca it might turn right again..

“You just say nothing.” Aubrey advised.

“Nothing?” Chloe asked in a small voice, her brow suddenly furrowing, looking at her best friend earnestly.

“Nothing.” Aubrey repeated firmly, “You just go back to Barden, find Beca, and say nothing. Let her do all the talking.”

“But-“

“-she’s the one in the wrong here Chloe, not you.” Aubrey interrupted, her voice still firm but her expression soft and caring. She hated seeing Chloe like this, “You wait for her to apologise. Then you can talk to her about whatever you think is right to talk about in that moment.”

“And Jesse? Should I apologise to him?”

“Does he know?” Aubrey asked, even though she knew the answer. There was no way Jesse would ever find out about this. She’d ensure it. Chloe would probably ensure it. And there was no way Beca would have the balls to tell him.

“No, I don’t think so..” Chloe replied in a quiet voice.

“Good. Let’s keep it that way.”

And the two best friends fell quiet, sipping at their respective teas while staring at different parts of the room in comfortable silence, lost in their own thoughts..


	14. Chloe - The Promise

Chloe took a massive exhale of breath as Aubrey pulled the car up to the front of The Bellas house. Unsurprisingly it had taken the redhead a few hours and Aubrey the patience of a saint to finally get to where they were now. It was just before midnight, and Chloe had begun anxiously twisting her thumb ring again.

“Did you let the girls know you were coming back tonight?” Aubrey asked, having switched the ignition off, the interior of the car going dark and Chloe shook her head, reaching into her jacket pocket for her phone.

“No I…completely forgot…” Chloe replied in a distracted tone while she texted her go-to Bellas for spreading the word: Flo and Cynthia Rose. Both were great at gathering The Bellas when necessary if Chloe and/or Beca were running late for a Bellas meeting or house movie night.

_Just arrived home. Will be in in a sec. Chlo x_

The Bellas has all texted her at various intervals this evening and all had asked very similar questions:  _Where are you? Are you okay? X_.

And Chloe had simply replied to each:  _Yep I’m fine. I’m safe x_

Yet all of the texts her friends had sent her (except for Beca who was still not texting her) hadn’t answered one of her deepest burning questions right now. Had Beca told The Bellas about the kiss??

Suddenly Aubrey and Chloe both let out loud yelps when they heard a tapping on Chloe’s window and both women turned to see that it was Jesse, looking tired and a bit frazzled, and staring specifically at Chloe in a serious manner. The redhead swallowed loudly. Shit.  _He knew_.

Chloe stepped out of the car nervously, her eyes darting around at the dark front yards around them. This was the curse of living next door to The Trebles. There was no avoiding Jesse. Quick as a flash Aubrey was by her side, her arms folded defensively, not afraid in the slightest to keep eye contact with the young man who was watching nobody but Chloe.

“Beca told me about the kiss.” Jesse muttered in a glum tone and Chloe’s stomach sank. Well he didn’t exactly take his time confronting her about it. Chloe looked up at Jesse for the first time, feeling tears pricking her eyes. She knew how well Beca and Jesse argued. She could only imagine how loud that particular conversation would’ve been.

“Jesse, I-“ Chloe began but he quickly held a hand up to ask her to stop, and she did.

“I know it was Beca who kissed you instead of you kissing her… I-I just have to know one thing.” He said, shuffling on the spot as though what he was about to say was something he both desperately wanted the answer for and desperately didn’t, “It  _was_  the first and only time you guys kissed…right?”

“Definitely!” Chloe blurted quickly, her heart racing while she panicked. She hated confrontation and this was the worst example of it, “Jesse, it was a quick peck on the lips. It meant  _nothing_.”

She was lying of course. Not about the kiss being a quick peck. Chloe was lying about how it meant nothing. Upon reflection, the kiss Beca had given her, though very short, had meant  _everything_  to her. But there was no chance in hell she was ever going to tell Jesse that.

“Yeah, she said that too.” Jesse muttered with a light nod, looking down at his feet. Chloe felt awful. This situation hadn’t been her fault, but she was involved. She  _had_  technically enticed Beca in the first place..

“Chloe, I’m graduating at the end of this year.” Jesse said in a nervous voice, looking back at her and Chloe couldn’t help the way her mouth dropped open slightly. She had no idea the guy was graduating  _early_. “I’ll be in LA next year then I’m hoping Beca will come and join me once she’s graduated.” Graduated. God, Chloe hadn’t thought that far into the future. All that she knew now. Her life and routine. All of it was going to come to an end…

“I need you to promise me you won’t steal my girl while I’m away.”

Chloe felt the blood rush into her ears. He…he thought she was just going to swoop in and start having an affair with Beca the second he was gone? Chloe was very open and forward and flirty, yeah. But she wouldn’t  _dream_  of acting upon her deepest desires for Beca!

“Jesse, you don’t have to worry, she’s not even going to  _be_  here next year.” Aubrey said firmly, causing Chloe to jump a little. Oh yeah, Chloe had forgotten that technically this year was her third attempt at senior year.. that was another thing she’d failed to tell Aubrey - that she’d been purposely failing so she could spend yet  _another_  year with Beca. Chloe had every intention of failing again, with the hope of graduating with Beca and the rest of The Bellas next year.

“I just need you to promise me, Chloe. Promise me you won’t pursue her.” Jesse said in a slightly begging tone. It was clearly something that was concerning him, and Chloe couldn’t see why. Sure she was flirty, and did have a tendency to gravitate towards Beca. But she’d never actively pursue her. Especially as Beca showed no signs that she felt the same way back.

“Jesse, I promise you I won’t pursue Beca while you’re gone.” Chloe said seriously, looking the man dead in the eyes. And she meant it. She’d gone this long secretly pining over Beca. She could continue the facade a little longer..


	15. Chloe - The Distraction

“I’m sorry..what are we supposed to be looking at here?” Aubrey asked in a confused tone while stood in Cynthia Rose’s bedroom. Chloe had a slightly amused smile on her face while she looked curiously at two photos that Cynthia Rose currently held out at Aubrey, Chloe and Fat Amy. One photo was of Cynthia Rose posing in one of her Bellas outfits. The other was of Cynthia Rose posing in a different Bellas outfit. Both photos looked almost identical.

“I just need to know which one I should send to my Mom.” CR said seriously, and both Chloe and Aubrey squinted a little harder at the two photos. It was a difficult choice.

Chloe had entered the house less than two minutes ago with Aubrey supportively by her side and had instantly been stopped by Fat Amy, who dragged them both through into CR’s bedroom to help them decide on ‘a very important thing’. Which had turned out to be this task of helping the woman choose which photo to send to her Mom. An odd thing to be doing at just after midnight on a Thursday night but all of The Bellas were renowned for being night-owls..

“I’m leeeaning more towards that one.” Aubrey said cautiously, pointing at the photo on the left, but Chloe just let out an amused chuckle.

“Aubrey, it doesn’t matter which one we pick, Cynthia Rose isn’t going to send her Mom a photo.” Chloe watched as all three of the women stood around her looked shocked at what she’d said, but it only served to make her let out a light sigh, raising her eyebrows at CR and Fat Amy. “You guys are the distraction.”

CR and Fat Amy both opened their mouths to begin protesting but their flushed cheeks of embarrassment betrayed them. Aubrey just furrowed her brow, “A distraction from what?”

Chloe had heard the footsteps thundering up the staircase when they walked through the front door. She noted the way Fat Amy had quickly ushered herself and Aubrey into the nearest bedroom instead of allowing them to wander through to other parts of the house instead. Chloe continued to look pointedly at Fat Amy and CR.

“Beca’s been smoking on the roof again, hasn’t she..”

The two younger women hesitated, letting out small “Uhhhhhmmmm..”s, which only made Chloe tut and roll her eyes. Aubrey, however, was impressed. She hadn’t realised how well her best friend knew the other members of the group until now. Chloe’s observation always had been one of her strongest qualities.

“And I suppose she told you about the kiss too?” Chloe added with a drop of amusement to her tone at how uncomfortable Fat Amy and CR looked. It was like catching kids with their hands in the cookie jar. These girls always did know how to make her feel better sometimes.

“Little bit. Yeah.” Fat Amy confirmed tentatively, and Cynthia Rose nodded in agreement. They both looked sympathetically over at the redhead, their faces screwed up slightly, not wanting things to be awkward in the room.

“How you doing?” CR asked gently and Chloe took a deep breath. Nobody had really asked her how she was doing since Beca had kissed her. Since she had ran out of the house. Since she had ignored Beca’s call.

“I’ll be okay.” Chloe replied quietly, her smile having now dropped from her face, “How’s she been?” She watched at Fat Amy and Cynthia Rose turned to look at each other and shrugged.

“She’s been a bit of a mess.” Fat Amy said honestly, and Chloe suddenly felt this strange surge of hope taking over her body. Beca had been a bit of a mess too? Had she cried as much as Chloe had? Had she maybe realised just how in love she really was with Chloe and decided that she wanted to be with her instead of Jesse??

“Well, not a  _mess_!” Cynthia Rose added, “She’s been her usual secluded self.” Chloe felt her hope sink again. Stupid really - to think that Beca could possibly feel the same way as her. “But something’s been different about her. We’re not sure what yet. But something.”

Aubrey had seen the way her best friend’s shoulders had slumped. How Chloe’s amused smile had faded back to that look of disappointment and concern. And that’s when the blonde realised - she had to do something first.

“Is she up in her room?”

Chloe, CR, and Fat Amy all turned to look at Aubrey, hesitating slightly.

“Uh..yeah?” Amy replied cautiously, worried about what Aubrey might do, and she had ever right to be worried..

“Right, I’m gonna go up and speak to her first.” Aubrey said in a confident tone, straightening her posture slightly so she towered over the other Bellas, “Then I’ll send you up to speak to her, Chloe.”

Chloe bit her bottom lip nervously as she watched her best friend turn on the spot, march out of the bedroom, then up the staircase. Aubrey wouldn’t  _kill_  Beca…right?


	16. Chloe - The Apology

Chloe hesitated at the foot of the stairs that would lead her up to the attic bedroom above. She turned to look down the little corridor and saw Aubrey stood at the top of the main staircase with Flo, Jessica, Ashley, Stacie, Lilly, Cynthia Rose, and Amy. The all looked at her with encouraging expressions, all clearly desperate for Beca and Chloe to work things out.

The redhead let out a long shaky sigh and turned to look back up the stairs before her. She could hear a light creak of the floorboards that had her heart racing that little bit faster, knowing full well that it was Beca shifting her weight slightly, patiently waiting for her arrival. Chloe swallowed loudly, then slowly began making her way up the stairs. She reminded herself about what Aubrey told her - about not saying anything to Beca and waiting for the brunette to apologise first.

But that all went out the window the second Chloe reached the top of the stairs and caught sight of her best friend. The woman she was so madly and secretly in love with. Her  _every_  thought had been on Beca since the second she’d stormed out of the house yesterday morning, to the point where Chloe had almost forgotten what Beca really looked like in person because she’d amalgamated so many different memories of the brunette’s appearance. But seeing Beca in the flesh once again heaved the breath from Chloe’s lungs. Beca was  _so beautiful_. Even more so when she looked this nervous and vulnerable and-

“Hey.” Chloe said in a quiet voice, hovering at the top of the stairs, not wanting to spook the woman. But Beca just blinked at her for a couple of moments before quickly croaking out a quiet “Hey.” in return. A return that Chloe saw as an invitation to approach.

“Listen, I’m sorry I ran off.” Chloe said as she strode closer to Beca. Screw Aubrey and her ‘wait for Beca to apologise’ rules. Chloe was  _always_  going to apologise, even when she didn’t really have anything to apologise for. She twirled her thumb ring anxiously, hoping this wasn’t a mistake. Hoping that she’d been away long enough to help Beca work through the aftermath of their kiss alone.

“And I’m sorry I kissed you.” Beca quickly replied, and Chloe’s heart sank. In an ideal world Beca would’ve said that yes they had kissed but that she totally didn’t regret it and wished she could kiss her again. Then obviously Chloe would let her and they’d live happily ever after. But Beca hadn’t said any of that.. “I shouldn’t have done it. It wasn’t fair. Not on you, or me, or…Jesse.”

Oh god,  _Jesse_! Chloe promised him she wouldn’t swoop in and steal Beca from him. Of course she wouldn’t. But then..if Beca felt  _something_  for her in return that was worth pursuing..? After all, Beca  _had_  kissed Chloe for some reason. Totally out of the blue. Things felt different now she was stood with Beca in person-

“I told him about the kiss.” she heard Beca mumble, and Chloe swallowed loudly while she watched her best friend’s cheeks flush pink while averting her eyes down to her feet. Was Beca…embarrassed to be talking about Jesse? Her own boyfriend? Why was she embarrassed? Unless of course, Beca  _did_  have feelings for Chloe after all. And she just didn’t know how to express them?

“He was mad with me - understandably. But he texted me a little while ago to say that he’s forgiven me…so…”

Oop! And there went Chloe’s hope - up in a puff of smoke. Jesse had rightfully secured his claim on Beca as his girlfriend. Forgiving her was the ultimate ‘nice guy’ move. Very Jesse. Which was what made Chloe feel all the more worse for that rush of feelings she’d been having just now.

“Oh..” was all she could start with, her heart skipping a beat when Beca drew her eyes back up to Chloe’s and they held one another’s gaze. All Chloe could now hear were the lyrics to the opening verse of ‘ **Too Lost In You** ’ playing in her head:

“ _You look into my eyes,  
 _I go out of my mind.  
 _I can’t see anything.  
 _’Cause this love’s got me blind.  
 _I can’t help myself.  
 _I can’t break this spell.  
 _I can’t even try.____ ”___

“That’s good. Right?”

“Yeah.” Beca replied with a smile and Chloe’s heart sank. Beca was actually  _happy_  to still be with Jesse. It was as though the kiss between her and Chloe hadn’t even happened. And it made Chloe feel a little bit sick. “Yeah. We’re all good. Me and Jesse - all good.”

All good. Well at least  _they_  were, Chloe thought. Chloe however? She was far from good. Where did it leave them now? Her and Beca? Were things going to be completely different from now on? Was she actually going to have to graduate at the end of the year because things with Beca and The Bellas would be too horrible? It wasn’t as though Chloe was going to be able to forget that kiss in a hurry..

“What about us? A-Are we gonna be okay?” Chloe almost didn’t want to watch or hear Beca’s answer, for fear that Beca may just shrug or add a quiet “I dunno, dude.”

But to Chloe’s surprise a broad smile spread over Beca’s face, almost immediately lifting the tension in the room and she playfully thumped Chloe on the arm while responding with an optimistic “Yeah dude. Yeah - uh - look it was just a quick peck, right? No feelings or anything.”

Chloe’s heart sank once again, still struggling to hear the words every time Beca told her that the kiss meant nothing.

“I mean I like you.”

Chloe’s heart soared, but then dropped again when Beca quickly added a panicked: “Not like… _like you_  like you but…” God, there was a ‘but’.

“…well you’re really important to me.”

Chloe felt numb, her mind becoming a little hazy with the emotional rollercoaster Beca was putting her through at that moment. Some seconds she had huge hope that Beca felt the same way about her, and that they might even end up making out in this bedroom (okay, that may be a bit of a long-shot) and in other seconds Beca would be sending Chloe hurtling down to hell forever doomed to be tortured by her unrequited love for the woman while Beca lived happily ever after with Jesse..

“And yeah, I did something really dumb that probably ruined some of our friendship but…I…”

Chloe noticed the way Beca paused and swallowed loudly. This was a really big deal for the brunette, she could tell. Beca rarely got sentimental, and particularly didn’t get sentimental on a one-to-one basis. And suddenly Chloe realised that although Beca probably  _wasn’t_ as in love with Chloe as Chloe was with her (or even definitely not in love with Chloe at all) - Chloe was still someone  _special_. And for the first time in over two years…the redhead was content in just being that person for Beca. The special one that Beca couldn’t exactly describe her feelings for - whatever they may be..

“…I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it, Beale. You’re the sunshine to my rain cloud. The jelly to my peanut butter. The shake to my milk. The sprinkles on my sundae-“

“-You don’t like sundaes..” Chloe interrupted with a light frown, but to her delight she watched as Beca rolled her eyes.

“I know but…you get what I mean, right?”

For the first time in almost two days, Beca brought a small smile to Chloe’s face, and it was an action that seemed to breathe a huge gust of fresh air into their increasingly complicated friendship, “I get what you mean.”

Chloe watched as a small smile wiped over Beca’s face, the younger woman replying with a hopeful, “So we’re okay?”

It was kinda like how they’d been before, except now it was a little different. They had come to an unspoken agreement to move on from an event that would forever be a part of their history: Beca had kissed Chloe, had told Jesse, and Jesse had forgiven her. Beca told Chloe she couldn’t imagine her life without her, it made Chloe happy, it made Beca happy, they continued on as close friends.

“Yeah.” Chloe agreed affectionately, “We’re okay.”

And while that was mostly true, neither Chloe nor Beca could ever have predicted what their future together would have in store for them..


	17. Bechloe - The Pyjamas

Beca let out an amused chuckle as she kept hold of Chloe’s arm, tugging the redhead up the dimly lit stairs of The Bellas house. She couldn’t quite believe that that was it! The final ever hoodnight party they’d ever attend. And of course Chloe was drunk. And completely soaked after deciding that jumping in The Trebles pool with all her clothes on would be a clever idea. Beca had had a couple of the strong cocktails too, but certainly hadn’t had so much to drink that she could barely stand.

Suddenly Beca let out a small yelp through the dark, and realised Chloe had become a bit of a dead weight, “ _Fuck_ ” she muttered while Chloe let out a loud rumbling giggle, and the brunette dropped her best friend’s arm.

“Jesse!” Beca called out in a low voice and she noticed the top hallway light switching on while she made her way down to the stair just below Chloe, wanting to protect her from potentially falling down the stairs - such was her drunken stupor.

“You alright?” The young man asked, appearing at the top of The Bellas staircase. When Beca had told him that she was taking Chloe home because she would likely hurt herself the woman was so drunk, Jesse immediately offered to help. And while it had been almost a year since she had kissed Chloe out of the blue - it had also been almost a year since she had told Jesse about it and Jesse had been baffled at first but had forgiven her and had asked her to promise that it wouldn’t happen again. A promise that she’d made.

Since then things had pretty much returned to normal save for exceptions like this, when Jesse would offer to  _go with_  her and Chloe places. And Beca knew why - he didn’t overly trust them as much as he said he did. Which was ludicrous because Beca  _didn’t_  like Chloe as anything more than just her best friend. Her closest friend. The woman she secretly realised last year, after that sporadic kiss she’d given her, was actually someone she would never be able to live without again. Chloe made life straightforward.

“Yeah.” Beca winced, keeping a firm hold of Chloe’s back and back thigh while the redhead let out a drunken giggle, “Can you help me get her the rest of the way up?”

She watched as Jesse quickly made his way down to them and gently took hold of Chloe’s hands, “Come on Chloe. We’re gonna get you to bed.”

“Awwwww!” Chloe wailed, her face scrunching up as she reluctantly got back to her feet. Jesse tugged her gently up the rest of the stairs while Beca shoved Chloe’s butt firmly. “I want Becaaaaa!” Chloe added with another wail as they all reached the top of the stairs.

“I’m right here, Chlo!” Beca replied in a light reassuring tone, moving around to the front of the redhead when she was confident Chloe was in a safe enough position not to fall down the stairs. Jesse watched with a bit of a glower as his girlfriend reached out and grabbed Chloe’s shoulders with an amused smile.

Beca didn’t act this way with anyone but Chloe, and Jesse hated it. Any time they argued now, it was about how Jesse was moving to LA in a few weeks. And that argument led to a conversation about Chloe and how Jesse was worried that Beca would turn to her for comfort while he was away (“Have you even  _met_  me, dude?? I don’t even  _like_  comfort!”)

“Oh yeah.” Chloe said in a sweet tone and a sloppy grin, peering at her best friend with hooded eyelids, “There you aaaaare.” And she brought her index finger up to ‘boop’ Beca’s nose, “Boop!”

Beca let out a tut, rolling her eyes, but she could feel a flush of embarrassment sweep across her face at the interaction. This was what drunk Chloe was like. But to do it to Beca in front of Beca’s boyfriend who the brunette could  _tell_  was getting more jealous by the second? It was a little too much..

“Come on weirdo. Let’s get you into your room and into some pyjamas.” Beca muttered, guiding her best friend to the bedroom that already had a light on thanks to Jesse being ahead of them earlier, and Chloe threw her arm around Beca’s shoulder with a heavy sigh.

They managed to get into the bedroom tripping over only three items of clothing Chloe had discarded on the floor earlier when getting ready for tonight. Jesse hovered in the doorway. He’d been to this room several times before but only to meet Beca who would be in here using Chloe’s high-spec vanity mirror before they all went out, or if Beca was hungover with Chloe, Stacie and Flo who all seemed to gravitate to this bedroom for some reason.

Jesse watched as Beca pulled Chloe’s chair out and had her best friend sit on it while she rummaged in some draws for pyjamas. He saw how Chloe watched his girlfriend with longing stares, her head propped up on her hand in her drunken state, and Jesse felt a knot of jealousy.

“Jes?”

Jesse jumped at the sound of his name and looked over at his girlfriend who was now stood by the draws with a set of pyjamas in her hands, raising her eyebrows seriously.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I said I think you should leave.” Beca said honestly, slowly making her way over to Chloe whose eyes had just drifted closed. “I gotta help Chloe change out of her clothes and into some pyjamas and I don’t think it’s right for you to see her naked - especially as she’s drunk.”

Oh but it’s okay for you to see her naked? - Jesse thought. But he kept his mouth closed. Because his girlfriend had  _every_  point. He wouldn’t want Beca to be drunk and for Chloe’s boyfriend to see Beca naked..if Chloe ever got a boyfriend of course. So Jesse just cleared his throat.

“Okay.” He managed to choke out awkwardly, just as Chloe let out a drunk and drowsy groan, her hand slipping from under her head, and she woke up with a start.

“I’ll wait out here in case you need me.” Jesse offered in a quiet voice and although Beca nodded in agreement, her focus (and fingers) were already at the base of Chloe’s wet black strappy-top.

Jesse closed the door over behind him with a grim expression and a massive ball of jealousy in the pit of his stomach while he heard his girlfriend mumble  _affectionately_  to her best friend, “Come on Chlo, let’s get you out of these wet clothes.”

If this was what they were both like now while he was here, what were they going to be like when he was gone…?   
At least he could guarantee one thing. Once Chloe found out that Beca had got herself an internship that took her away from The Bellas more, their friendship was likely to be a little more strained. And while Jesse didn’t want to wish unhappiness upon his girlfriend, a bit of friction between her and Chloe wouldn’t do his and Beca’s relationship any harm. In fact, it might even improve it…


	18. Bechloe - The Retreat

The warm air was still as it hung around the dark retreat in the middle of the Georgian countryside. Beca let out a calm sigh, sat alone, her knees tucked up to her chest, her head tilted so it looked up at the night’s sky. It had been an eventful couple of days on this retreat that she’d so reluctantly gone on with The Bellas.

The main problem was that for the past nine months Beca had been keeping a huge secret from The Bellas. She had an internship that her friends knew nothing about. Every time she’d seen Chloe over those months she’d felt massively guilty, having always intended on telling her - after all the woman was someone she considered her closest friend - but bottling it at the last minute. She thought Chloe hadn’t noticed. Until earlier today when the redhead had snapped at her, yelling that she’d noticed Beca had been ‘a little checked out’ lately and that was when Beca had been forced to finally tell Chloe that she’d been attending an internship..

“Hey.”

Beca looked away from the sky and over her shoulder to see Chloe approach her with a tired smile. It had been a long couple of days for both of them. Emotions had been running wild, they’d had a hard time sleeping last night sharing a tent with all the other Bellas, and this evening they’d all been sat around a campfire chatting about what they were going to do once they graduated in a few weeks time. The end of everything they’d known these past few years would soon be here.

“Hey.” Beca replied, a soft smile on her face as Chloe sat on the ground beside her, tucking her own knees up to her chest. It was the first time in a long time that they’d both been alone together - Beca’s internship having meant that she not only happened to be out of the house a lot, but that when she  _was_  home she tried to avoid any moments that may cause Chloe to confront her about where she was most of the time. Beca had to admit, she’d really missed Chloe’s company.

“Needed some time to yourself?” Chloe asked in a kind quiet voice, nudging Beca gently, causing a quiet chuckle to grace the younger woman’s face while she looked down at her feet.

“Yeah. Just…had something on my mind.”

Like, a massive thing. It had been a year and a half since she’d spontaneously kissed Chloe in The Bellas kitchen. A year and a half since Chloe had ran away immediately after. A year and a half since Beca had told Jesse about it. A year and a half since she’d insisted to her boyfriend that the kiss she’d given Chloe had meant nothing. A year and a half since Jesse had forgiven her. A year and a half since Chloe had come back. A year and a half since they’d decided that things would be okay between them - that they could still be friends despite the kiss.

The thing was..this massive thing that was now on Beca’s mind? It had come to her over the campfire earlier that night. Maybe it was the knowledge that they were graduating soon. Maybe it was the fact that the cloud of guilt had lifted from Beca’s body that she could finally look at Chloe properly again. Maybe it was the fact that Beca hadn’t seen her boyfriend in a couple of months and hadn’t spoken to Jesse in several days.

Maybe it was an amalgamation of all those things. Or maybe it was something completely different. But whatever it was, around that campfire, Beca had looked to Chloe just as Chloe had looked to her and she felt her heart skip a beat. As though..her  _soul_  had locked in on Chloe’s soul and they were now destined for.. _something_  together. And as she’d smiled softly at Chloe in that moment, she’d noticed the way Chloe had quickly smiled back at her, and Beca had suddenly realised:

Perhaps Stacie had been right a couple of years ago when she’d mentioned that someone doesn’t just kiss someone they’re attracted to without it  _meaning_  something? Beca hadn’t really understood what Stacie had meant, nor had she seen what more she could possibly feel for Chloe other than friendship. But around that campfire a couple of hours ago she finally did. She was quite possibly falling in love with her best friend.  _She was falling in love with Chloe_.

“The internship stuff?” Chloe asked tentatively and Beca hesitated. No, it wasn’t her internship stuff. That was pretty straight forward, especially now she had Legacy on board. “Why  _did_  it take you so long to tell me about it, Beca? I thought we were best friends..”

“We  _are_  best friends!” Beca quickly assured, her gaze snapping up to Chloe’s eyes that were lit by the moon. Before them stood the large lake of the retreat. Far behind them was the large tent that none of The Bellas had tumbled into yet - all too busy drinking alcohol around the campfire still.

“I just…” Beca began, but she stopped and winced, turning to look out at the lake which showed the moonlight dancing across the surface. She was terrified about telling Chloe her real reason behind not telling her about the internship..

“It’s okay.” Chloe said in a kind and quiet voice, nudging Beca gently again. Beca both hated and loved how sweet Chloe was. How  _patient_  she was. And Beca felt her stomach knot slightly. If only she wasn’t in a long-distance relationship with Jesse, then she’d totally tell Chloe how she felt by graduation. Probably.

Beca took a deep heavy breath of fresh air then turned to look at Chloe seriously, a vulnerable hint to her tone:

“I know how you get when you’re anxious. I guess I was worried that if I’d told you about the internship you’d freak out that you’d have to look after The Bellas alone.. I guess I was worried that you’d run away again.”

Chloe felt her stomach drop. She knew exactly what Beca was referring to. That time the brunette had kissed her out of the blue because Chloe had dared her to and Chloe had been so stunned she’d ran out of the house and had escaped to Aubrey’s to clear her head. She’d gone radio silent for almost two days, leaving Beca alone in limbo until her return. It had been difficult for both of them, but they’d got through it.

Chloe hadn’t realised her anxiety over spilled into Beca’s life too though, and she immediately felt guilty. There was no doubt that Jesse obviously knew about this internship even though he was on the other side of the country (he was Beca’s boyfriend after all), and it was this knowledge that made Chloe feel a little jealous. That’s when she made a pact with herself that she would  _never_  give Beca reason to keep something from her ever again.

“Well there’s no way I’m ever running again, Beca. I promise.” Chloe said in a soft voice, “You don’t have to be scared to tell me stuff. From now on, no more secrets, yeah?”

Beca took a deep breath then nodded gently, “Yeah. Alright. No more secrets.”

Except Chloe being Chloe - just by being herself and having the close friendship she did with Beca - caused Beca to keep a current massive secret from Chloe: the new realisation that she was falling in unrequited love with her. The thing was, this secret love  _wasn’t_  unrequited. And had Jesse not been in the picture still, both Beca and Chloe would’ve probably have told one another by now. They would probably be in a romantic relationship together..

The two best friends sat in comfortable silence together, then suddenly Beca cleared her throat, “I can’t get over how big and bright Mars is tonight.” she mused in a light tone, looking into the starry night sky again.

Chloe furrowed her brow, “Huh?” and Beca just grinned, pointing up.

“See that big bright star just there, that’s kinda reddish in colour?”

Chloe squinted in the direction Beca was pointing at, then let out a light squeak when she saw it, “Yeah?”

“That’s Mars.” Beca replied with an amused chuckle. When her procrastination got bad, she would look to the nights sky and use her phone to work out where the planets and constellations were. She’d got pretty good at it.

“Wow..” Chloe whispered, a calm smile on her face.

Beca wasn’t looking at the sky any more. She was looking at her best friend as though seeing her for the first time tonight. The way the moonlight touched upon her perfect nose, and smooth cheeks, those beautiful lips and shining eyes.. God, Beca was falling  _so_  hard for Chloe. And she hated that they only had a few more weeks left together at college. Then Beca would be moving to LA to be with Jesse. Chloe wouldn’t be there. They’d no longer see each other every day - and Beca felt her heart break a little.

She was so in love with Chloe. If only Chloe felt the same way..


	19. Bechloe - The Graduation

Chloe squished her way through the hoards of brand new graduates, all donned in gowns and mortar boards just like her own. She’d done it. She’d finally graduated! Now to find her parents..

The redhead hadn’t had the smoothest of relationships with Mama and Papa Beale. Older siblings who had long graduated, excelled in their respective careers, had had children, and had built mini empires of their own meant that Chloe had kinda become Mr & Mrs Beale’s ‘lost cause’. Fortunately Chloe didn’t really know any different - if you could call it fortunate.

Her eyes scanned the busy courtyard area up ahead of her, her eyes peeled for the signature red hair of her mother, and sure enough Chloe spotted her. So the young woman made her way between graduates, excusing herself and smiling. But the closer she got to her parents, she realised they were stood with a couple of other people. Chloe recognised Dr Mitchell, Beca’s father, and who she assumed was Beca’s mother.

Chloe stopped for a moment and took in the sight. For a second her mind dared to wander. If she and Beca had ever got together in college this might be the very situation they would arrive at: both their respective parents meeting for the first time. But she and Beca  _weren’t_ together. Chloe was still secretly madly in love with the girl. But Beca was  _still_  with Jesse. In fact, Beca was probably with him right now…

Chloe felt a gentle jab into her side and let out a small yelp, squirming away from the contact for a moment. She turned to see her attacker who let out a familiar chuckle and she grinned when her eyes latched onto a pair of deep blue beautiful eyes.

“Found ya!” Beca said with a big grin, “You looked good up there, Beale. I stood and cheered.”

Chloe let out a tut, rolling her eyes with an embarrassed grin, “You did nooooot..” but Beca’s eyebrows rose while she insisted:

“I did! I swear!”

Chloe bit her bottom lip. Sometimes she wondered what it might feel like to not be completely obsessed with this woman. To not have her on her mind most of the time. To not think back on that kiss Beca had given her a year and a half ago and not wonder what might have happened had she not pushed Beca back. Had she not ran away..

“I’d better go find my parents.” Beca said with a sigh and unenthusiastic tone, looking around the graduates for a way through. Chloe knew Beca didn’t always get on with them, especially since their divorce when she’d been an early teen, “Mom’s come all the way up from Florida so I should really go and say hi.”

Chloe let out a light chuckle. She was pleased Beca had miraculously managed to find her in this massive crowd of students of all shapes and sizes but all wearing the same attire. It was as though Beca and Chloe had been drawn to one another. By fate or destiny or  _something_. Chloe was happy they were together in this moment. She would remember it forever.

“Funny that.” Chloe said in an amused tone and Beca furrowed her brow.

“That…I should go say hi to my mom?”

“No! That you need to find her!” Chloe replied with a chuckle, playfully pushing Beca’s arm while the brunette grinned. “Because she’s stood with your dad and  _my_  parents.”

“Oh.”

Beca turned her head to try to follow Chloe’s eye-line and catch a glimpse of their parents stood together but all she could see was a sea of graduation gowns - such was the curse of her small height. It was a weird thought to know that her parents and The Beale’s were meeting for the first time today. Not…not that she and Chloe were a couple. Far from it. But based on the feelings she now had for her best friend, having their parents meet was kinda like two worlds colliding.

Beca had been a little quieter recently since returning from the retreat. Since realising she was secretly falling in love with Chloe. She’d been happy enough to sit with The Bellas and actively listen to every word Chloe said and noted each tone the woman’s voice made. She’d been happy enough to just be in the same room as her. To try to absorb every last detail of the redhead before their inevitable parting post graduation. Beca hadn’t realised how much she was going to miss Chloe until now. Graduation just made everything all the more real.

“Come on.” Chloe whispered, grabbing Beca’s hand with a grin, “Let’s endure this together.” And Beca tutted, but smiled gently, her cheeks flushing while she allowed her crush to drag her between the gowned students around them, towards their parents.

Jesse wasn’t here. Beca had been bitterly disappointed when he’d called her a couple of days ago to tell her that he wasn’t able to make it over to Atlanta for her graduation. She’d been missing him a lot - particularly since their texts were now few and far between. And most importantly of all she’d been disappointed because she’d wanted to see him in person to try to internally address whether her feelings for him still stood. Did she still love him the way she thought she always had? Or did her recent feelings for Chloe now cloud her judgement? Was what she felt for Chloe stronger than what she felt for Jesse?

Beca hadn’t told Chloe that Jesse was missing her graduation. She wasn’t sure why, but she never mentioned Jesse to Chloe any more. She wanted to try to keep her feelings for both of them separate and that, to Beca, meant not mentioning one to the other.

Beca and Chloe both approached their respective parents together. The parents congratulated them on their graduations in a reserved manner. And neither Beca nor Chloe dropped one another’s hands - perfectly happy to have this moment, secretly pretending to themselves that it was as though they  _were_  in a relationship together and that their parents were meeting for the first time..


	20. Bechloe - The Move

Beca slammed the car door shut and stared up at the old tall apartment block. Brooklyn. Day one. The start of the rest of her adult life post-graduation.

“So this is our new home, huh?”

Beca smiled gently and turned to look at Chloe who had just got out of the car herself, and now stood beside her looking up with an excited grin on her face. Beca couldn’t believe Chloe had actually agreed to move up to New York with her. The redhead hadn’t thought twice about the offer when Beca had suggested she needed a couple of friends to help split the rent.

Residual Heat (the company Beca had been interning at) had offered her a job at their NYC offices. She’d accepted it in a heartbeat, then had had to explain to Jesse that she wouldn’t be going to LA right away as they’d originally planned. The job offer had been far too good to turn down. Jesse had been  _very_  kind about it fortunately, stating that he knew when opportunities that good presented themselves Beca couldn’t pass them by.

Jesse and Beca both agreed they’d try to make the extra-long distance thing work. Jesse remained in LA. Beca now lived in NY. With Chloe..

“Yep.” Beca replied, taking a deep breath before making her way up the steps into the lobby area of their new apartment block. But by the time they’d reached the top of the second lot of steep stairs they were already out of breath.

“How…many boxes…of stuff…have we got?” Beca wheezed, her pace now far slower than it had been at first.

“Ugh too many.” Chloe groaned, only slightly ahead of her best friend.

They finally reached the top of the third set of steep stairs and paused, panting for breath. Beca was already beginning to wonder if this move had been a good idea. Yeah it would be great to live in Brooklyn. Yes it was an awesome new job she’d be starting on Monday. And yes, of course it would be brilliant to still get to see Chloe every day. But Beca wasn’t sure if she’d be able to manage heaving herself up all these stairs every time she returned home.

“Come on.” Chloe sighed, slinging her arm around Beca’s shoulder and guiding her down the small corridor of the third floor, “Here’s hoping Amy got us takeout like she promised.”

Fat Amy had also immediately agreed to move with Beca up to Brooklyn when the brunette had offered. The Australian has been so excited she’d travelled up to the new apartment a day sooner than Beca and Chloe - something that the other two hadn’t really complained about. Better having Amy arrive before them than for Beca and Chloe to arrive, unpack, get settled into a routine, then have Amy turn up and disrupt it all.

All they knew was that the apartment was a little smaller than the pictures on the website, and that Amy had promised she’d have take out ready for them when they arrived. Beca and Chloe were starving. It had been a long drive up from Atlanta.

The second they walked through the door of their new apartment the two women froze. Amy hadn’t been lying - the apartment was  _way_ smaller than they’d first thought. And Beca’s stomach flipped as her eyes were immediately drawn to the lack of sleeping areas in the place. There was one double bed opposite the door, with Fat Amy sat on it - the woman clearly having claimed it as her own. Then beside the door was a fold-out couch, unmade with no bedding.. and Beca had a sinking feeling that she and Chloe would have to share it.

“Uh..hey Amy..” Beca said in a cautious tone, and she glanced over at Chloe who was already looking down at the fold-out couch, clearly aware of the glaringly obvious sleeping arrangement that would be bestowed upon them.

“I thought there were three beds in that photo on the website?” Chloe croaked, clearing her throat as she looked from the couch over to Amy with a furrowed brow.

“Yeah me too.” Amy said, then shrugged, “I guess the landlord used some old photos of it or something.”

“Amy,” Beca began, stepping forward a few steps to get a better look at the interior of the  _tiny_  apartment. It didn’t take long. She knew she shouldn’t have left Amy to organise finding an apartment for the three of them. “I said we needed three beds.”

“It’s okay. You and Chloe can share that one.” Amy replied innocently enough and Beca let out a heavy sigh. God, sharing a bed with Chloe too? Life felt torturous enough harbouring unrequited love for the redhead, but having to share a  _bed_  with her too would only serve to make things worse.

And Jesse? What the hell would Jesse say if he found out that the girl Beca had spontaneously kissed a couple of years ago was now someone his girlfriend  _shared a bed with_? He would probably end their relationship immediately. But then…would that be the end of the world? Beca had to admit, recently she’d been wondering if this whole long-distance relationship thing could last any longer. Trying to maintain it was tiring and now they were even further apart. Beca wasn’t sure if she and Jesse could keep this going. But she was too lazy to bring it up in conversation..

Beca turned to look at Chloe with a sigh and the moment the redhead turned back to her she shrugged, “I always sleep on that side.” and she pointed to the far side of the bed.

Chloe followed Beca’s hand and saw the side she was motioning to. First sharing a studio apartment with Beca and now having to share a bed with her too? Chloe felt like the luckiest girl in the world - but she had to play it down:

“Good.” She replied with a small smile, “Because I always sleep on this side of the bed.” And pointed to the other side of the bed, beside the side that Beca had been pointing at. She didn’t really  _have_  a favourite side of the bed. But she was happy to begin having one now..


	21. Bechloe - The Breakup

Chloe jolted awake at the sound of the apartment door opening, her eyes  _just_  catching the petite figure of her best friend in the light of the hallway before the apartment plunged into darkness, the door closing again. Beca had been away for two days. Hadn’t told Chloe she was planning on going, but had just swung a text to the woman late at night telling her that she’d gone to LA for the weekend.

To say that Chloe had been okay with Beca being away would be a lie. Chloe had been quiet and low in mood - uncharacteristic for her that was for sure. Because Chloe knew what Beca being in LA meant. It meant her best friend - the woman she was secretly madly in love with - was visiting her boyfriend. Visiting Jesse meant that Beca was inevitably making out with him and having sex with him instead of hanging out with Chloe. And each time Chloe realised how jealous she was feeling she would internally scold herself for hating that Beca was probably having a nice time  _with her boyfriend_. Because Beca deserved to be happy - even if that happiness wasn’t with Chloe.

Chloe held her breath, laying still in the fold-out bed that she and Beca still shared even though it had been two years since they’d moved up to this city together with Fat Amy. They could’ve bought two small separate beds in that time. But Beca and Chloe had both seemed to have got into this routine where it was now normal for them to be each other’s first “Good morning” and final “Goodnight”. Beca didn’t go over to LA very often so Chloe had  _really_  missed her best friend while she’d been away. Not least of all the feel of Beca’s arms around her body when they spooned in bed while they fell asleep..

The redhead heard Beca sneaking around the tiny studio apartment, brushing her teeth and filling a cup of water. Then she heard the distinct sound of Beca removing her clothes, the garments falling to the floor, the younger woman slipping her pyjamas over her body (Chloe having folded them and placed them under her pillow as she did every morning when making the bed). Then Chloe felt the bed dip behind her and heard Beca let out a huge heavy sigh while scooting underneath the bedcovers.

The apartment fell silent, but Chloe kept her eyes open as Beca’s arm snaked across her stomach and the brunette tucked in behind her, becoming the big spoon to Chloe’s little. Chloe could feel Beca’s breath on the back of her neck as the woman began to fall asleep, and Chloe felt a wave of sadness. Two years of this sleeping arrangement. Three and a half years since Beca had kissed her out of the blue then had quickly told Chloe it had been a mistake, thus breaking Chloe’s heart. Six years of pining after the beautiful prickly alt girl - being hopelessly and secretly in love with her.. and yet Beca coming home to her after a weekend of love making with Jesse was never an easy thing for Chloe to come to terms with. Especially not when Beca tucked into her body behind Chloe so tight - their thighs aligned, Beca’s crotch against Chloe’s butt, Chloe’s back against Beca’s chest. Their bodies fitting perfectly. Like two puzzle pieces born to be whole.

“How was LA?” Chloe whispered quietly through the dark, bringing her hand up to Beca’s while it rested on her stomach and giving it a squeeze.

“Shit.” Beca mumbled, her voice reverberating against Chloe’s back. And Chloe began to worry. She knew that Jesse and Beca often argued. That they only saw each other once every few months and still maintained that it was a ‘healthy long-distance relationship’. Even though Beca had totally forgotten it was Jesse’s birthday the other week and had ended up calling him to wish him a fleeting Happy Birthday while she was at a ‘late-night zoo party’ which her work had put on at the New York City zoo in Central Park (and which Beca had taken Chloe along as her ‘plus one’..)

“Me and Jesse broke up.”

Chloe froze, her entire body going numb as her mind began to whir.  _They broke up_?? Why? How did they come to that decision? Was it Beca who broke up with Jesse or Jesse who broke up with Beca?

“Oh..” was all Chloe could muster. But then she swallowed loudly and took a deep breath, “How come?”

God, she could feel it. She could actually  _feel_  Beca’s heart racing against her back. And the brunette had appeared to have pinched a bit of Chloe’s pyjama top across her stomach and was busy fiddling with it anxiously.

“I don’t really wanna talk about it.” Beca mumbled, “Just…stuff he was struggling to understand. I told him some things I probably shouldn’t have, then in the end he told me he couldn’t do it any more. So I left.”

Beca could feel tears welling up in her eyes. It had been a very long weekend. She and Jesse hadn’t really stopped arguing since the moment she’d got there. And she’d only gone over to LA because their arguing had got so bad over the phone.

Jesse had found out that Beca had been with Chloe at that ‘Zoo Party’ - the photos of which had been posted on the Zoo’s social media pages. And one of those photos had contained a drunk Beca and drunk Chloe, both posing together looking  _very_  cosy indeed. Jesse had accused Beca of cheating on him, claiming that she and Chloe were presumably having an affair in their perfect little studio apartment with their perfect little shared bed and perfect little life. And Beca had rightfully denied that that was the case. Beca and Chloe  _hadn’t_  been having an affair. Nothing in the slightest bit romantic. They were just best friends..

But then towards the end of Beca’s weekend stay, Jesse had finally ground Beca down enough to push her innermost feelings to the surface, and in one loud slip of self-control, Beca had blurted out that yes, she  _was_  actually secretly in love with Chloe and was no longer in love with him. And that she’d been struggling with the internal battle of it all since senior year ( _“So since you kissed her then!” Jesse yelled back, and Beca hesitated. That had been it. THAT had been why she’d felt an unusual tug after that kiss she’d given Chloe. Beca had been in love with Chloe all along, she just hadn’t realised._ )

Chloe didn’t know what to say. She felt sad for Beca, of course. Her best friend and Jesse had been together since the end of their freshman year. Five years was a long time to be in a relationship for and Chloe knew how strained it had become towards the end.

“Can I ask you something?” Beca asked, her quiet voice cutting through the silence of the apartment, her arm still around Chloe’s stomach for comfort.

“Yeah, of course.” Chloe whispered back, then she held her breath, wanting to ensure she wouldn’t miss what Beca was about to say.

“Remember back in college…when I kissed you?”

“Yeah?”

This had been one of the main things Beca and Jesse had been arguing about for months. Ever since the man had found out that Beca and Chloe  _shared a bed_  in their studio apartment. Jesse still couldn’t understand why Beca had kissed Chloe in the first place, and then he couldn’t understand why Chloe of all people had ran away immediately after. And Beca agreed with the confusion over the latter. She too couldn’t understand Chloe’s reaction.

“Why did you run?”

Chloe took a deep intake of breath then sighed. What the hell could she say? That she was disappointed it had been so brief? That she was upset that it had been unlike anything as amazing as how she’d imagined their first kiss to be like? That she was heartbroken because Beca had said  _it was a mistake_?

“It’s because I…”  _am in love with you and always have been and always will be_ , Chloe thought to herself. But she stopped herself from saying it. Beca had  _just_  broken up with her  _boyfriend_. Not only was Beca straight but the woman herself had said back when Chloe had bribed Beca to kiss her, that the kiss had been a mistake. Well telling Beca that she was in love with her could also be a mistake - one that Chloe was too afraid to act upon.

“…guess I was so shocked I panicked and had to get out of the house.” she finished, biting her bottom lip hard as punishment for not having the balls to tell Beca the truth.

“Do you wish I hadn’t kissed you?” Beca asked tentatively and Chloe’s heart yearned to tell Beca that she wished Beca had kissed her for longer.

But instead all Chloe could answer with was a quiet, “I wish I hadn’t ran.”

The atmosphere in the apartment was thick with desire. Both Beca and Chloe desperately wanted to tell the other how they really felt. That they were in love with each other. That they wanted to revisit that kiss and make it better. Longer. Deeper. But both were afraid of rejection. That this perfect little life they had would end if they revealed their deepest secret.

So after a couple of moments Beca let out a heavy sigh, pulling Chloe tighter into her, and mumbled gently, “Thanks for always being here for me, babes.”

And Chloe took hold of Beca’s hand, pulled it up from her stomach, and placed a soft kiss on the woman’s palm before returning it to its original position, “I’ll never leave you, babes.”

It was a pet name that had kinda appeared in their vocabulary in recent weeks and neither of them knew how it had come about. But it was the term of endearment that both had been searching for. It told the other that they cared without having to actually  _tell_  them that they did.

“Oh…Emily sent a message in The Bellas WhatsApp group…” Chloe mumbled as sleep began to consume her body and Beca let out a low grunt before replying with a groggy:

“So I saw. Brooklyn Aquarium next month?”

“Five weeks..” Chloe corrected, and Beca yawned, her breath washing over the redhead’s skin.

“Think we can perform okay at such short notice?”

Chloe let out a yawn of her own, tucking a little further against Beca, mumbling in an almost incoherent tone, “Msure wecun manage.”

“Toxic?” Beca half mumbled/half grunted, her eyes closed.

Chloe hummed in agreement, “I’ll tell the girls to…pr-actice…the Toxic routine…”

After a couple of minutes the two best friend fell fast asleep, pleased to finally be back in the same bed together again..


	22. Bechloe - The Tour

Beca scooped some chopped fruit into a bowl and picked up a small pot of yoghurt. She and the rest of The Bellas had been on a USO tour together in Europe these past few days and were due to leave this small French hotel to fly back to the US a little later today. Back to the US where everything was set to change for Beca: she’d been offered a recording contract with DJ Khaled’s label. No more cooped up in her tiny perfect little studio apartment with Chloe (and Fat Amy).

Things were to change for Chloe too. The woman had finally got into Vet school, with offers from  _Cummings_  and from  _Davis_  - all the redhead’s hard work had paid off and Beca couldn’t be prouder of her best friend. The potential flight home however was set to be an awkward one. Chloe had been flirting very openly with one of the army dudes who had happened to be their guide the past few days. That army dude who Beca had seen Chloe kissing last night.

It had been a bitter pill to swallow - Beca finally single after so many years with Jesse but having spent many of those years secretly pining after Chloe, desperately wishing she could be with her instead. Only for Chloe to begin something with someone else. Not that Beca would’ve  _ever_  have mustered the balls to tell Chloe how she really felt.

“How are you feeling?”

Beca recognised the voice and tone, and as she turned she saw her friend looking at her with some caution. Aubrey had a breakfast bowl in her hand. The first Bella to make it down to the buffet breakfast after Beca.

“Alright I guess.” Beca said with a shrug, stepping aside so Aubrey could scoop some fruit into her own bowl, “It’s just a flight. Nonstop. I’ll pop a sleeping pill and it’ll be all good-“

“-I meant about Chloe.”

Beca swallowed loudly, hesitating, “Uh..” she totally thought Aubrey had been talking about the flight they were soon to embark on. Beca didn’t like flying.

Aubrey wasn’t an idiot. Ever since she’d found out that Beca had kissed Chloe back in college, the blonde had wondered why Beca had done it. The girl had had a boyfriend at the time, had told Chloe it had been a mistake, and had later told Aubrey that it hadn’t meant anything.

But Aubrey had seen the way Beca and Chloe had been interacting this past week. Living together meant the two knew each other better than anyone else and they were still obviously as close as they’d always been. But there was something noticeably different about Beca that Aubrey was still trying to put her finger on.

The brunette had this expression on her face whenever Chloe spoke. There was a softness to it unlike anything Aubrey had seen Beca show before. As though she were  _captivated_  by Chloe’s every word. Which was strange because when Aubrey had asked Beca back in Beca’s Junior Year  _why_  she’d kissed Chloe, Beca hadn’t really known. And she hadn’t really seen any sign that Beca had feelings for Chloe that stretched beyond friendship. Well..not until this week.

And last night, while Chloe had been giggling and dancing away in Chicago’s arms, Aubrey had been keeping an eye on Beca. And the brunette had looked  _heartbroken_  while she watched Chloe looking so happy with someone else.

“Come on Beca, I know we haven’t always seen eye-to-eye but I’m not an idiot.” Aubrey explained in a sharp tone, leading them both over to a large empty table in the breakfast room of the hotel, bowls of fruit in hand. Beca let out a tired sigh as they settled, busying herself with opening her yoghurt pot to avoid Aubrey’s eye contact, and the other woman let out a tut and rolled her eyes.

“Look, you and I both know that Chloe’s battered down your emotional walls. You care about things way more than you used to and you definitely care about her.”

“Yeah well, sharing a bed with Chloe for two years does that..” Beca replied in an irritated voice, but there was a lot of truth to what Aubrey was saying. She  _had_  noticed how her every thought was now on Chloe and what the redhead said or did. And each day that passed drew Beca closer and closer to finally revealing to the woman that she was crazy about her. She craved Chloe’s affection (though didn’t do so openly) and loved the way Chloe gravitated towards her.

“What I mean is…” Aubrey began then let out a sigh when the lid to her yoghurt popped open in her hand and sprayed a few small drops onto her face. The blonde dabbed the food from her skin, ignoring the smirk on Beca’s face. At least she was able to make Beca smile. That was something.

“What I mean is I saw the way you were watching Chloe with Chicago last night.” Beca’s smile dropped at Aubrey’s observation, and the brunette could feel her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment, “Beca, I know you said that kissing Chloe back in college hadn’t meant anything. But I think you were lying-“

“-I wasn’t lying.” Beca quickly interrupted with a grumble, still focusing on her breakfast but letting out a sigh, “Back then I hadn’t thought it meant anything.”

“But you think it did now?” Aubrey continued to probe, having just finished pouring her yoghurt on her fruit. She had never  _never_  had such a meaningful conversation with Beca before. And certainly not about  _feelings_. God, Beca must have it bad for Chloe if she was willing to talk to Aubrey about it.

“Um..” Beca said, pushing her fruit around her bowl nervously, “..yeah.”

Aubrey watched as Beca looked up at her with a vulnerable expression, and her heart warmed a little for the petite brunette.

“Yeah I’ve…” Beca began, looking back down at her fruit, “…kinda come to realise that…maybe…I dunno…” she took a deep breath, her heart racing. She hadn’t admitted this out loud to anyone before. And of all people she was going to admit it to, it was going to be  _Aubrey_ , “…that I’m sort of in love with Chloe.”

A slow small smile graced Aubrey’s face as Beca looked back up at her, the younger woman’s deep blue eyes watering slightly, and Aubrey couldn’t believe she’d heard it with her own ears.  _Beca was in love with Chloe_! Aubrey already knew Chloe was in love with Beca, so this was the most perfect situation, right?

Wrong.

The two Bellas turned just as they heard Chloe’s giggle approach the door to the breakfast room and both Beca and Aubrey watched uncomfortably as Chloe wandered happily into the breakfast room holding Chicago’s hand…


	23. Bechloe - The Outburst

Beca was tapping anxiously on her knees while the Über driver drove as fast as he safely could down the streets towards the collection of apartments that she knew Chloe lived at on her college campus. The dark streets were doused in snow, an early December flurry having fallen earlier that day. But still it hadn’t stopped Beca from rushing over here.

She’d been in LA when Aubrey had called her. Had explained that Chloe had been miserable because nobody seemed to want to go as her ‘plus one’ to a Christmas Ball that the Vet School was putting on for the students. And when Beca had moodily asked Aubrey why  _Chicago_  wasn’t going, the blonde had blurted that Chloe and Chicago hadn’t been together for several weeks now. ( _”You need to go over there. You need to be Chloe’s plus one.” Aubrey said in a fairly desperate voice and Beca rolled her eyes. “Oh sure, because that’d do wonders to my feelings for her, Aubrey!” Beca snapped._ ) Aubrey had surprised Beca when she finally admitted that Chloe was secretly in love with Beca and had been for years. So Beca had wasted no time in getting the first flight from LA to New York.

The car came to a stop and the brunette flung herself out onto the snowy sidewalk, trying her hardest not to slip over as she approached the front door of the student dorm block. By the time she’d raced up the two flights of stairs her chest had tightened and she was gasping for breath. It was nothing compared to the experience of those steep flights of stairs back in their old apartment block, but still…

Beca knocked quickly on the door she knew to be Chloe’s, desperately hoping she hadn’t missed the redhead. She would’ve hated for her to have gone to the Ball alone.

“B-Beca??” came a voice from behind her and the brunette spun quickly on the spot to see Chloe in a doorway opposite the door Beca had been busy knocking on.

Beca was a little confused, “Uh…hey is…is this not your dorm?” she asked motioning to the closed door behind her. And Chloe shook her head with a little grin.

“No,  _this_  is..208..”

“Oh shit.” Beca whispered, an embarrassed grin spreading across her face, and Chloe let out a light squeak, quickly motioning for her best friend to scurry into her dorm as the door Beca  _had_  been knocking on began unlocking from the inside. Beca didn’t waste her time in dashing into Chloe’s dorm, the two giggling as Chloe slammed the door behind them before her neighbour opposite saw them.

They finally stood before one another, their giggles subsiding. Beca’s heart raced with nerves and anticipation as she looked at Chloe. The woman had her long red hair flowing beautifully down her back in loose curls, her body in a beautiful long dress that cupped her curves perfectly and accentuated her ample cleavage. And her make up was done to perfection. Chloe was perfection.

“What are you doing here?” Chloe asked, still a little stunned by Beca’s presence. They hadn’t really spoken much in a while - both citing their busy schedule.

“I need to know why you ran.” Beca said in a firm voice, “And I need an honest answer. Not just because you were shocked. We were both shocked that I did it.”

The dorm fell silent as the two best friends stood before one another, the air around them thick with sexual tension that they hadn’t experienced since they had moved out of their Brooklyn apartment a few months before. They both knew Beca was talking about the kiss she’d given Chloe back in college. It had taken them both by surprise. And it was something they’d always thought about over the years since, secretly craving that moment again.

Chloe took a deep shaky breath. Beca was stood before her, looking into her eyes. And for some reason she had this feeling that Beca already knew the reason she’d ran all those years ago. The reason why she’d been so reluctant to tell her all the times Beca had asked her before now. Chloe had a feeling Beca  _knew_.

“Because I was in love with you.” Chloe finally burst in a timid voice, tears welling up in her eyes, “I’ve always been in love with you.”

Chloe was given no time to think about the words that had finally slipped from her mouth after six years of torture. Six years of having been in total unrequited love with the woman before her. Because Beca had strode forward, and in one fluid motion had cupped Chloe’s cheeks and had kissed her on the lips with all the tenderness and sureness and firmness that Chloe had always wished their first kiss had been like.

When that kiss had broken for the briefest second so that they could change the angle, Chloe let out a quick gasp, snaking her arms around Beca’s waist and tugging their bodies together before kissing her best friend back with as much assurance as Beca was kissing her. Years of harboured feelings and emotions, of longing and pining, were all laced in this kiss that brought tears to the two women’s eyes.

“I’m so in love with you too.” Beca mumbled against Chloe’s lips, bringing a smile to Chloe’s face as they kissed one another again, “And I should’ve told you sooner.”

Their kiss came to a natural end, Beca and Chloe having not realised that Chloe had been pushed back against the dorm door. Their chests were heaving such was the ferocity of their latest kiss and they let out small chuckles while they nuzzled one another’s noses, as though seeing each other for the first time.

“It’s funny, your kiss doesn’t taste as Mocha-ry as I remember..” Beca mumbled with a grin, loving the way Chloe giggled.

“Well that could be something to do with your gum.” The redhead replied affectionately, and Beca drew her face back with a furrowed brow. Shit, she’d totally forgotten she’d been chewing gum on her way here - something she often did to try to calm her nerves. But Beca grinned when she saw Chloe look at her mischievously, the woman poking some  _very_  chewed gum out of her mouth and Beca felt her stomach scramble with desire. Chloe now had Beca’s gum in her mouth..


	24. Bechloe - The Future

Chloe jolted awake as she heard the door creak open and she noticed the petite figure of her best friend slipping into the room before closing the door behind her. Beca crept through to the ensuite, clicking the light on and quickly cleaning her teeth before sitting down on the toilet with a heavy sigh. The redhead knew Beca would be happy to have returned to her tonight instead of having to wait for tomorrow like they’d initially feared she would have to.

The toilet flushed, the light went out, and a soft smile swept over Chloe’s face when she heard Beca remove her day clothes then slip beneath the bed covers behind her. She felt Beca’s breath wash over the back of her neck and a content smile drew over Chloe’s face when the woman snuck an arm around her waist, tucking in close behind her to be big spoon, her hand cupping Chloe’s left breast as it always did whenever they laid in bed together overnight.

“How was LA?” Chloe mumbled in a sleepy tone and she heard the woman let out a heavy tired sigh, Beca dipping her face down to place a kiss on Chloe’s bare shoulder blade.

“Shit.” Beca muttered against Chloe’s skin and the redhead drew her fingertips gently up and down the length of Beca’s arm.

“At least you got to come home early?” Chloe replied on a positive note, and she felt Beca smile against her skin.

“Nothing beats getting to come home early.”

The two women let out happy sleepy hums, the room falling silent as the distant sound of New York traffic at midnight rumbled away from out the window. Chloe was still trying to get used to the new apartment that Beca had bought a few months ago. Their new home in the city. But if it meant that they were together more, then the noise was a small price to pay.

“Astrid came home earlier.” Chloe mumbled, cutting the silence and she heard a light grunt fall from the back of Beca’s throat, the woman clearly having not long been far from falling asleep.

“She okay?” Beca asked, her brow furrowed while she kept her eyes closed.

An amused smile swept over Chloe’s face, “Yeah. Olivia kissed her out of the blue this morning and she freaked. Got the first flight home.”

“Like mother like daughter..” Beca muttered with a grin on her face and she felt her wife turn in her arms with a chuckle.

“That’s what I told her.” Chloe replied, letting out a comfortable sigh while she stretched in Beca’s arms before curling her own arms around Beca’s, trickling those fingertips up the woman’s skin again.

Astrid Beale - Beca and Chloe’s only daughter, their pride and joy - had started at Barden when she was eighteen years old. Following in her mothers’ footsteps, she joined The Barden Bellas and in her Sophomore Year became Co-Captain of The acapella group, alongside her best friend Olivia. Astrid was now in Junior Year. And from the sounds of things she and her very best friend had some unresolved sexual tension that needed to be addressed..

“So is she still here or has she gone to her Auntie Aubrey’s?” Beca mumbled sarcastically, letting out a sleepy yawn while her wife let out another light chuckle, her face tucking into Beca’s chest.

“I told her to suck it up, go back to Barden, and tell Olivia how she really felt about her.” Chloe replied with a smile and this time it was Beca’s turn to chuckle.

“Wise advice. If only Aubrey had been so blunt when you ran away after I kissed you in college huh..”

Chloe hummed in agreement, placing a soft kiss on her wife’s collarbone. Beca had shot to fame not long after signing with DJ Khaled’s record label, the success of her debut album reaching high critical acclaim and earning her millions very quickly. Chloe had successfully completed her four year veterinary degree. And in that time - little more than four months after that chilly December evening when Beca had turned up at Chloe’s dorm - the two had quickly married, with The Bellas as their only witnesses. The press had found out and had dubbed it a ‘shotgun wedding’. But twenty five years on, Chloe and Beca Beale were the ones having the last laugh.

Astrid had been every bit the child they’d craved and imagined and had wished for. She was now a beautiful young woman who, while often stubborn and prickly at times like her Ma, showed as much love and happiness and kindness as her Mom - not that Beca didn’t shower Astrid with love. Sometimes the twenty year old had to openly tell her Mama to  _stop_  hugging her so tight whenever she arrived home because Beca missed her so much - something that Aubrey still found a funny fact whenever anybody mentioned it (“ _See, I told you Chloe had battered down your emotional walls_.”)

“So Olivia’s on the scene now…” Beca mumbled after a few moments of silence and Chloe just let out a small tut bringing her face up from her wife’s chest.

“Where have you been, Babes? Olivia’s  _always_  been on the scene. Our daughter’s just been too dumb to realise.”

“Like Mama like daughter..” Beca mumbled with a tired sigh and her wife hummed in agreement once again. They shared a gentle kiss then bid quiet “Goodnight”s to one another.

The dark bedroom fell silent once again, and before long both Beca and Chloe drifted off to sleep in one another’s arms. Happy together.

Crazy to think really, that this whole thing had started with just one taste of a Mocha candy bar…


End file.
